Making an impression-while you can

2009-10-10T22:44:00.001+07:00

I miss being a child =(

2009-09-29T16:39:00.003+07:00

Frantic times

My hands are frantic, cold, weak.
My pulse is slower for sure.
My eyes are warm.
My brain is bogus.

49 days to SPM.

Thats all I'm left with. With Diwali samck right in the middle.

And now that the Trials results are slowly getting released. We're all meeting reality. And you can see, everyone is stressed and binging on extremely fattening canteen food.

Everyone is hungry, angry, moody, suddenly crazy.

Its a mayhem. Dunno if the rest of the class notices this. But I sure do.

And who cares about class reunions now.

=.=''

Good luck guys =)

And Jeevan and Bana. Happy bday guys =)

2009-09-21T14:41:00.005+07:00

My madness at some point or the other =)

2009-09-21T14:05:00.003+07:00

Guess who's back????

Well thr trials are over and I'm on a week break. But actually plan to use it as a study break but... =)

We (bout 30 plus) of us went to Tjg Balau and it was great fun. Didn't exactly take much pictures as my phone was in Jeevan's bag.

My australia tickets screwed up so now we have to rebook and with jetstar i think =(
Malaysian and Singapore Airlines prices are close to suicide now tht the peak season is nearing.

Guys, dun forget bout the Matriculation application.

I've somehow lost the touch to blogging. I think.

And I hate it when ppl punish me for something they did.
And Jeevan Jeevan Jeevan, chill and the world is yours.

Embrace me like the rain =)

2009-08-26T16:37:00.004+07:00

Its been a pretty dramatic week...
Staring with the whole trials tension.
Then Vidya gets admitted and confirmed.
Then Jeevan meets in an accident.
Then Dhurga gets angry with me bout not being able to make it.
And all those sms from people I dunno.

And finally me getting a paint layer between my nails which caused a whole lot of bleeding.

=.=

My mind is bogus bout trials BUT

I've got a feeling that its not enough.
Oh ya, Happy Birthday Dhurga =)

I'm kinda stuck with my words now.

I have no idea why Madhura isn't in this =)

I guess I'm really confused with stuff. Show me a sign =)

Oh ya. I'm so in love with David Archuleta's Touch my hand

Song lyrics | Touch My Hand lyrics

Someone sing me this la... =(

See I told you something was wrong with me....

Chiowz

2009-08-19T10:01:00.002+07:00

I have 13 days to my Trials...

And its quite a stressful bit but....

My endless list of entertainment goes on and on and on....

And everything is getting a little too cheesy....

but anyway...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRATHEESH =)
How I wish I was as old as you. All grown and legal xD

Dunno when the next time I'll be here. Maybe for Hari Raya =)

2009-07-29T17:15:00.003+07:00

I've missed this place.
Lately, I wish they sold time in the supermarkets. Time for fun, time for family, time for myself.
But I guess, nothing joyful comes easy.

Peh, yes I'm feeling nostalgic. Suddenly.

Sometimes looking back at all the memories I've had. All the old people and the new ones and I'm put to the test to compare. I feel incapable of doing so.

Nevertheless, I do have my favourites.

And maybe I do agree, school is the best times we have. Looking at those who have left to pursue their journey, I realise how sometimes friends can get forgotten. Not on purpose of course.

And although I'm not entirely enjoying senior year These are moments which I will definitely miss.

And the days as just passing so fast these days. Sometimes I wish I could own a remote control to life. To pause, play, rewind, forward, skip.

But they're just unlikely fantasies.

And I'm just one silly head blogging bout it.
I really hope some magic takes place.

Cause I really don't like being alone.

But its just a hundred plus days to go and I bet I'm stronger than I think.

=)

=D

2009-07-19T16:00:00.003+07:00

Lets just say I forgot what I read for sure in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
And so with a very vague idea I enjoyed the movie although it felt a bit depressing at the end. I'm hoping the next one will be portrayed better.

FOA wasn't too entertaining but I must give credit to their president-Dalvin dear-Congrats =)

As for life and its events, its going good and I'm smiling ear to ear.

Might be crying in a bit-LOL

And Tnesh is over at Delhi already and Ilham is getting back from UK 2moro =)

Pratheesh is definitely proving that he is better than MJ.

g2g. Chowz xD

2009-06-28T01:21:00.005+07:00

Was it vinegar???

yes, reporting live from PJ =)

i came over yesterday-as i said for the wedding
and i was expecting a real good sleep....but guess who ruined it????

yup, SAI NATH as much as he ruined it, we had a mute webcam session which was HILARIOUS!!!

Then this morning my cuzzin and i cooked lunch which was finger-licking good, like seriously.sorry no pics of tht.The Ganesh anne bought my fav BIG APPLES XD

then we headed to Midvalley were there were this exhibition of lovely Barbie's...It was just so pweeettyyy

and i guess there's a new use for wheel barrows

and here are some random shots of us

and finally when we left, Pavit decided to isolate herself god knows why

Then the usual us and camwhoring =p

But i guess the wedding is still not over, nor is the visit to KL. So see you bck in Jb
p/s:I miss "you-s"

2009-06-18T14:36:00.003+07:00

Yes I made those changes.
And I think I deserve much much better.

And mum, I thought you understood. Its been a rough year.

But I guess its just me , myself and I for now.

F***!!! Its June.

*)^*%$^&#&(P*O%*{(PR%*%+()((%&%)*)+(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sinned!!

2009-06-13T21:45:00.002+07:00

Hey there again!!

After a really long time, the luxury of time on the last day of my mid term holidays. I guess its going to be a long stretch henceforth.

It is scary, just even thinking of it..

Well the past few weeks, I've come across many situations where I realise that I have taken and 180 degree turn from where I used to be.

Things which I once never would have done suddenly become my daily routine. Things which I would have never have said, become my daily language.

And I still have not come to a conclusion if or if not this is a good thing.

Its definitely a sign of maturity but a sign of progression or digression still is a question mark?
If something that is bad benefits you in a good way then what is its verdict?

Yea-the confusing phrases are back on the screen.

Plus the non-dualism thing in conjuction with the msgs in the centre is now rotating in my head.

It really makes me wonder, if God exist in evrything and anything. Then nothing in this worlds could be bad, Could it??....

One confusing bit. And yes I have sinned =(

2009-06-12T00:16:00.002+07:00

Yes I'm back...

Was I busy-yes and no... The computer was down....So ya....

Just a few more days to school again...

And I'm smiling crazy=)

Hahahaha....

gosh i sound mental

2009-05-13T09:57:00.002+07:00

I am undergoing PAIN..

My ear is aching-that irritating sinus problem which always lands me at the ENT Specialist.

And mid term papers start tomorrow.

Oh wait, it started on Monday!!!

$^*# you selfish idiots!!

Dhurga and Mogan, I dunno wad i would do without you guys

2009-05-11T09:50:00.004+07:00

It could have not been love =)

Guess wad?? First it was the sore eyes now the sore throat... I've lost my voice like completely. Rightfully I should be In school taking EST but my nose in the morning was like a stuffed turkey.

On Saturday, I went over to Papuma's hse (grandaunt) for Shalani's bday party. I don't really know her cause after all these years she has come down and we just don't know her. However she resembles Pavitra so so much. As in looks wise but she's only 15.. They also had the mother's day celeb at the same time. Pretty nice family time after so long. And as usual, my darling Asha(Analica) was there and its so cute the way she says Kayshini mami, Kayshini mami. And for her age, her wit and sacarcsm is preety injustified but still she my favourite.

After the party, I went over to Dhurgasen's hse to study, this time with Mogan. By then my voice was already cracked up but I pulled through teaching them electrochemistry =)
We had so much fun with mother's day black out. Yes, literally black out. Mogan and I were like smiling ear to ear cause it was quite an experience. By the time I got back home from his place, it was 3am. And by the time I slept it was 4.

I woke up on Mother's Day without a voice plus the medication was maing me really drowsy. Soon it was evening and we were all at Uncle Vimal's place for the get together. Dad made his vegetarian curry mee which was good =)

Then we jammed, me without my voice and then there was the MU-MCity match. Then I went to the clinic and the doctor looked unsure off wad I was having. And she gave me antibiotics and everything but no sore throat meds!!

I better get better cause my first official paper starts on THURSDAY.

I recall Joey losing her voice last year at 4Sc2...hELL i MISS tht class....

Yugen is all emoed up, I dunno how to help or what to say. But I love our X-MEN convo. He kononnya is Wolverine. And I'm Cyclops who has been killed by Magneto and am being disguised by Mystique. Complicated crap.

Let me just finish my mid term, then hell breaks loose partially for a week. I think I'm gonna end up hanging with Dhurga and Mogan-unless there are ppl around. Maybe Michelle or JO!!

We'll deal with that later-time to peform now.

Adios amigo =)

2009-05-07T11:22:00.006+07:00

Of Malini, Megna and whatever her name was.

Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.
-Arthur Schopenhauer -

Thats something which I have always heard time after time. I was talking to Sukhbir the other day and he told me to move on. Something which I have been trying to do for the past 6 to 8 months. I guess there's so much bitterment and stuff still in me so much so I'm not satisfied to leave everything behind and walk to a better way but of course I don't show this on a day to day basis. Although there are many times I am so determined tear all the pictures I have printed-good thing for self control.

"If it was to happen again now, things would be different,"you say.

I'm sorry but you had your chance all the while. And the imporatnce I gave you, if you had someone else in your head then and then now you realise how much you got fooled. Too bad.

ok enough of the emo freaky talk.

Spelling bee yesterday was =p
Quite and experience in fact.

I caught a flu from Sunway College, JB. Their airconds are pretty dusty. And if there's one thing I'm pretty sure about is that I never want to go to Sunway College JB. Practically half of my seniors are there-the not so nice seniors. Felt like school all of the sudden to know everyone there.

Back to the flu-maybe I got it from Dhurgasen on second thoughts. Its pretty funny that when I'm talking to him, his words seem so broken up cause of his cough.

Example: You k-coughs-now yest-coughs-ter-coughs-day I went to b-coughs-uy top-coughs-up for M-coughs-M-coughs-og-coughs-gan

And yesterday I was teaching him electrolysis, and he is such a inattentive child. I had a really difficult time but in the end I kinda think I'm a good teacher =)

I don't look forward to tomorrow anymore. When I go to sleep I always tell myself, if tomorrow I wake up and find myself not in this body-I must always remember that life has been kind.

But I always wake up in my body. LOL. I'm nuts.

Exams are starting on the 14th of May right up to the 29th of May.

I am actually partially watching Vaaranam Ayiram currently.
I guess its just the mid term for now.

"This year is gonna go on fast-hopefully"

According to Michelle, my blog post scares her. Cause its always so long and she always has a few to read. Sorry hun =) And thanks for all the support in school. Really appreciate it.

Aisyah @ Sunway

Kog's and I at Bio =D

That was my number at the competition =)

Dhurgasen @ Bio as well

On second thoughts about change.

Things do not change, we change.
-Henry David Thoreau-

Auf wiedershen,
~ Kayshini Gandhi~

2009-05-02T14:07:00.008+07:00

Chocolate chip cheesecake

Ah....Another nice Saturday.

I baked yesterday-chocolate chip cheese cake (no pictures sorry)

Went to Dhurga's house today and then here I am. Gonna watch Yuvvraj after this. And my work stack is piling up with Sunway's Spelling Bee Competition as the priority and the speech thingy.

Tu muskura is playing now-Thats to you fafa. Although you cabut-ed to India without telling me. Smile, wherever you are, smile. =) I missshh you.

after/before medley practise

The next one coming up-Tnesh. Your going to Dehli so soon. Damn I'm going to miss you loads. You've been a friend,brother, darling, naggy aunty, my enemy. And god knows if you'll settle down there. Pretty good place but still you have to be back for my million and one reasons aight. At least not physically then mentally la.

Tnesh (centre), Puvan and I

Next up-Jeevan who is leaving probably next semester. You're gonna rock there. Jeevan is so....God knows la.

chheeee case v-mal is there.....cheeeee!!! spoiling my personal rock stars picture oni!!

Then there is Vidya who is already in KL-take care of yourself miss!! I think I've said this to you a million times over. Remember this picture?

Suearna oh Suearna, I know you're blending in fine now. Youve always got me. dun worry

My dearest vulgar pot Joey-come back quick and pull through!! MALAYSIA BOLEH, JOEY BOLEH!!!!! I missss you too.

last but not least, Happy Bday Adeline!!! Sorry I missed the parrttyyyy =S

To all of you-smile,wherever you are, smile

Hugs and kisses,
Kayshini Gandhi =)

Tu Muskura - A.R Rahman

2009-04-29T12:58:00.002+07:00

Vin Diesel!!! *faints*

Hey there people!!

As you can notice the layout has changed. Wanted to get something on a lighter colour scheme but its back to the classic black and white I guess.

I hanged the other day with Suearna, Jeevan, Vidya and Dhurgasen. Watched Fast and Furious 4. Which was good- specially their soundtrack. Very Coloumbian.

Study wise- Better than what it used to be. Dhurgasen and I are trying to cope with as much work we can do. Although sometimes we get diverted with our conversations. Besides that he is always commenting on my hair-always. But anyway criticism can be used for improvement.

There's a long weekend coming round dues to May day.

Fafa left already. And I've started chanting Gayatri out of fear.

Sometimes I think force and compulsion is necessary for the wild mind.

As for Durgasen, he has this mindset of education whether it is a necessity or need to success. Well I don't think I can prove him worng cause he has a pretty good point. But still you know, the norm of society has to be obeyed. And that exactly what I'm going to speak about at assembly this coming Monday-The effects of society on the individual.

I dunno if it sounds borring but I need suggestions on my topics. Cause I think its quite dry on content. I want mine to be humourous.

Nevertheless, time is running out as usual. SPM wise. Its May already and Mid term is on the 11th/ 13th.

I guess this is the phase where you get tested on your ability to drive yourslef to your goals without external influence.

Firstly,I'm just hoping for the best outcome.
Secondly, mum and dad keep being this way.
Thirdly, fafa comes back safely.

As I'm typing this, there's this weird remorse kinda hair standing moment going on here.

I better stop.

Love,
Kayshini Gandhi (Olivia??)

obladi-oblada, life goes on!!

2009-04-19T18:24:00.004+07:00

When I was gone.....
My darling Jibuuu!!

Poyo Mr. Mogan

me and straight hair?? ewwww

my darling bro who is a big time reader

my beautiful Sharanya!!

D-u-r-g-a-s-e-n!!

=.=

~~man~~ women made

Captain Wen Li and Ade!!

errr.....ade??

The familiar stranger

2009-04-17T22:24:00.003+07:00

Dear God (if you received my blog link)

Thanks for visiting. I have so much to tell you of my week. Especially yesterday.

I stood at assembly with my mouth sealed tight. It felt weird to be so silent of all places at assembly. I was the very person the prefects had a tough time keeping shut. As I moved to my class, I saw Cheryl giving her the warmest smile I had seen so far that morning.

The day couldn't be that bad. At least someone smiled.

I settled at my seat. I recalled the first day she walked through that door. The day I thought life was going to be greener and brighter. And today the harsh truth rubs in so badly. It was noisy- an unusually noisy day. I never noticed the class was usually filled with this air of commotion and teasing.

I needed to change something somewhere. So I went to Aaina, my latest saviour at class. She's pretty compassionate to understand that something is terribly wrong with me(thanks you for thata).

The day got even draggy as time went on. It was pouring nuts(u should noe). The road opposite the school flooded-as always.

Recess was the same but only with a different feel altogether.

In the eyes of everyone in school, I'm starting to look like a rebel drop out who has a tough time. Skipping loads of school and stuff.

Why am I writing this?? For sympathy? For acknowledgement? For forgiveness?

But perhaps as a shameful reminder as to how I started digging my grave. How I stupidly gave in to my mind.

And I wonder if I was to repeat this very mistake again. I guess there is no forgiveness. I can hardly face people nor myself anymore. And the more I try to assure myself, the more I'm proven wrong.

The more I think getting back to who I am is the remedy, the more I am changing. The more I think that prayer is essential, the more I move into Agnosticism.

However, who else is to blame but myself. And will I correct these mistakes I've done, I deeply wonder. Bless my soul!!

Thanks for reading. Have mercy =(

Yours truly,
Kayshini Gandhi

updates, updates & updates

2009-04-10T21:54:00.002+07:00

Konnichiwa (was that right??)

Well yea I am partially back in action. As in the technical problem (modem and stuff) has been solved so maybe a little more regular updates from me.

From the last time we met:

1) My group studies. Maybe pair studies with Dhurgasen has begun and I realise I am yelling at him loads to stay focused.

2) Vidya is in KL now @ Taylors

3) Rau has started work in Singapore and I hardly get a glimpse of him.

4) No 2 & 3 makes JB a little less crowded which is ummm...no comments

5) Sai Nath is an adult!! well not exactly but 2 decades old now!! wohooooo!!

6) I.U Day (Greece) rocked!!

7) The Junior Debate team lost to SIGS-of all schools =S

8) I am starting to get a little anti social

9) Puvarnish(my bro) knows loads of blackmail content.

10) I still haven't sang Sai Baba Githa Sudha =(

11) I am 17 years 3 months and 1 day old.

12) I miss my online friends

13) I miss my friends. Well thats a long list.

14) I miss my close friends.

15)I miss my good friends.

16)~~I miss my best friends.~~ who's that??

So ya life is sort of ~~stale~~ life-ish for a spm candidate. I can't expect much. Its the stage. I'll be out soon.

KAYSHINI
-UNLEASHING SOON(maybe not so soon)-

till then.

Dhurgasen might just end up being my buddy.Like big time.

The Booty Dance

2009-03-14T09:46:00.002+07:00

I thought 2 weeks of no tuition and school will not make me that backward until yesterday.

I went for Physics tuition and it was electricity. I remember when we first started the topic, I was teaching a few people what was going on and yesterday I was staring at the board blank. I was sitting with Durgasen yesterday in class. He sort of is my rival, in the sense of in tuitions. Kinda kiddish like we race to finish up our works and be the first to hand up the answer script.

Well yesterday, sitting next to him felt intimidating. He knew the answer for every single question. Futhermore can explain on top of his voice to the whole class. Irritating sial. Then I turned to him and asked him if he could help me out and he gave me grin. Got on my nerves!!

So I sat the whole 2 hours, blur while the whole class were at least somewhere.

By the end of the class I cheekily asked Durgasen if I could come over to his place to catch up as he is pretty smart you see. And he was like NO!!!

My bad as Durgasen has been asking me to have group studies with him since January and I just never budged and so ya. He's getting even now. Perhaps my selfishness too.

In the end I somehow got him to agree =D
So next week is gonna be lots of catching up!!

Later we went to Tmn Daya for Ugadi Medley practise. I was suppose to work the medley out which in the end Shankari akka did. But Tnesh, Rau, Thines and I revamped the whole thing. But it was hilarious being with them and working things out.

We started at 8.30pm and finished at 10pm. They don't have the 9.30pm crap rules there, so we get to work till its done.

Mum and dad were hanging at Uncle Nagen's place (Shankari akka's place), when we went there they were not done with their stories so Puvan and I started bullying me Shankari akka and we three had a fair share of gossips while munching on her cheese cake =)

It was a fun and different day. Came back and watched a little bit more of House and then I went to lalagujibaba land.

And to day I'm planning on going for the Stotra Chanting workshop*smiles*

Happy holidays guys!! Wah, my 3rd week now =D

How will you reap if you never sowed?

2009-03-11T13:47:00.006+07:00

Honestly speaking, I'm a little lazy to get back to school. After hectic cheerleading, it was the test and then sore eyes. So I had my fair share of rest mow. Not to mention its the holidays next week. So yea =)

Basically I'll be back tomorrow but I think most likely Friday. How's my eyes? Better but still puffy and swelled.

My 4 year Valentine Ilham is turning 17 this Friday. I dream I forgot about it. But thats what this post is about. Ilham, a friend, a date, a sister, one of my FAVOURITE high school buddies. Feels pretty approriate to speak of you now, senior year. Its now or never- so highschool musical-ish. So here goes to my one and only =)

Ilham and I were classmates since Standard 1 but she never was someone I was close to. I belong to the whack noisy dominating group and she was the the studious, quiet, reserved type. Huge difference.

And then when we went to secondary school, the ever famous 6 Delima class was split into different schools and classes and it was hell. Honestly, we were the ideal class. And it was then when Ilham and I were close. We both were the only two girls from 6D in our new class filled with girls from Foon Yew and stuff. We felt like fish out of water. The friendship blossomed there actually. And we were both put in St. Micheal's and we had pretty much in common. We had our ideology's and goals that we wanted to achieve. For an example being a debator. What more a Convent Debator.

Our first class in Form 1 was 1 Dahlia followed by 2A2, 3A2 and then we went to our separate classes. And I begged her to join cheerleading which she just wouldn't do. Oh well. At the moment she is one of the Top 6 in the Prefectorial Board, Pandu Puteri Secretary and my fellow collegue at the English Language Society BOD. Secretary also I think=)

If you're wondering, she's not athletic. LOL

As for Ilham and I. We do first class nonsensical stuff. For starters. Singing at the top of our voice with songs which can't really be sung. Our all time favourite's were Its all about you by Mcfly, Lovestoned by Justin Timberlake, She will be loved, This Love, Sunday Morning, Wake up Call by Maroon 5, Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes, Dark Blue by Jack Mannequin and I like the way you move by Bodyrockers!!

Of course we also tried stuff like Tokyo Drift(turned out quite bad) and a couple of Britney's.
We have our own jokes going on and she reminds me of spongebob.

There was also this phase where we were all so hyped up by Justin Timberlake and we used to sing all his songs like nutcases of course with our own versions and she used to call herself Justin Timberlake and I was the self created sibling of his called Jane Timberlake.

So many memories right up to how we used to L.O.V.E. the currypuff they sell at the school canteen.

Did I mention how much she LOVES Maroon 5?? I'm serious bout this. She went to catch them last year with... Nevermind. Skip that.

Also she is one perasan German-head. All she can say is Auf wiedershen=) And a fan of Philip Lahm the footballer.

She gives variety in my life. And we're not the everyday message kinda friends. We're the kind who can stay unconnected and nothing changes between us!! A true friend indeed always knocking some sense into me. I miss you Ilham=)

Debate Team '08-Ilham @the centre

The common look =)

a candid shot

at the library-removed Cheryl

And so if you're wondering where I got so many INDIVIDUAL shots of you, which is very very rare. I edited some pictures. And your Bday is on Friday the 13th!! Thats freaking cool wei!!! Can throw Halloween-ish parties.

So till next time Ilham. Cheers!!

Happy Birthday!!!
*inserts a big cheesy smile*

I know you LOVE ME =)

With love-Kayshini Gandhi

I'm gonna miss this loads when we leave school.

Ding Dong

2009-03-10T15:36:00.003+07:00

"Trust me"

"Blood is thicker than water"

"I disagree"

"I will never forgive you and this isn't a cliche saying"

"You are all just the same"

Face it, you're just a

And I hate you all. REALLY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now back to me, you and us!!

I'm planning on opening a joint blog with Yugen. A friend I made via a phone survey. Guess I owe him a post here after he mentioned me on his. Welcome to the blogging world, you'll get sick of it in a bit. Trust me=)

Btw, I like the nick Cyclops.

So if la, the blog berjaya, I'll give you the link. Meanwhile, you people can check his blog out. Its linked.

I'll be back at school by Thursday, fingers crossed.
Wanna see my test papers. Rather enthusiastic about it this time. And of course I wanna see all my sayangs.

We go lepak during the holidays next week and group study.

With Durgasen, he's given up on me. Sheetal, let me know.

I'm hoping to go for bhajan practise today. My vocal chords are a little rusty now.

so till then.

Oh ya!!I didn't know I had tantalising eyes Yugen =.= Vampire like you say. Makes me eligible to Cullen xD

I bet you think I'm a little ding dong-ish. But here's the deal.

Oh yea!! A new edit =)

KAYSHINI GANDHI

Oh the blues!!

2009-03-06T17:03:00.004+07:00

Hello there!!

Life after 24 hours has been....BAD!!

Mainly because of my eye-duh!!

Last night I had the worst encounter, I went to bed after washing my eyes and all and I tried to close my eyes and the liquid kept flowing out. Its as thick as lymph. And when it dries up its something like what you get when you wake up in the morning. Just a thicker thicker version. Yuck I know!! Imagine it being a daily affair. And you can just rub your eyes to get it out cause it feels like you have small tiny rocks between your eyelid and surface of your eye. So if rub, it causes FRICTION!!

So as I was saying the liquid kept flowing like I was crying my nose started itching and it felt like a severe allergy attack. And I couldn't open my eyes nor close it, I was blinking at an incredible speed. I think i could have used the formula's we learn in Waves, Physics Form 5. Cause my eyelashes were oscillating you see!! And I wanted to sleep so badly. It hurt plus!! So i went to the kitchen took an ice cube, wrapped in a nice towel and put it on my eye and lied down. Every time I take it off, it waters again. Damn!! Eventually I pulled through the night. Slept off.

I woke up this morning and I thought I was blind. Couldn't see a thing. then I thought cause the liquid glued my eyes together. So I felt my way to the bathroom and washed my eyes despite all the painful friction and I tried to open my eyes, and I couldn't. I could only open a 4mm gap and my vision was like crap. I could hardly see. One eyed pirate and my other eye looked as pretty red and I was like awesome. Now the other eye. Thank God I had an appointment and I went to the doctor and told him my horrid encounter and he's reaction?? "Yea its normal, I can't do much." Its just like common cold, you have to sneeze and it'll leak and all."

me-dumbstruck*u can't help me??*

"Only thing is you can reduce the dosage if the steroids now"

me-*steroids??*

"Cause steroids reduce the symptoms but not the infection"

me-*lost*

"all we can do now is wait unless of course your eyesight worsens or there are spots on your pupil or a white membrane forms"

me-*given up*

**************************************************************

At lunch, my dad and Puvan were immitating my mata sepet face!!! I felt so arghhh!! I cried. Cause you know the pain and anguish and your vision being so crap.

Must I say more bout the "amazing" experience I get when I cry?? The pain. Lord have mercy!! But after crying the eye feels lighter. So yea. Thats that.

I'm hoping to be back in school on Tuesday. I heard I'm missing lots of work and how much my Biology teacher "misses me". Plus PEKA is coming up so is Hari Keushawanan. I missed the cheerleaders party today as well.

Emotions running high over this side.

And for the news flash: Tnesh Kumar is going to be back in JB before he goes to Delhi.

That means I have an extra watchful eye upon me =)

Hoping to be back in action real soon. Miss you guys loads. Pray for me, I really need it. Complete recovery in the next 3 days sounds impossible but a miracle may make it happen. So yea, I'm desperate, PRAY!!

Just how bad is my eye??? You judge, based on a not so clear picture. Before indicates, healthy me and after indicates otherwise.

I bet you're laughing your ass off!! Mind you. NOT FUNNY!!!

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

2009-03-05T14:25:00.003+07:00

I was browsing through FB when I remembered what he(Identity Protected) told me, "I'm scared of her perfection". I felt like laughing. No doubt, he didn't say anything wrong, he should be scared.

But then I thought to myself, why is he so stereotype. No offence buddy but to a certain extend you are.

Yesterday, someone popped the question to me and I was mean, I gave some really cold, point blank answer. WHY? Cause I'm tired, after all the action thats been going on, I need a real good break. Will I enjoy my break? I don't know and I don't want to know. All I know is that there's this weird, nostalgic feel in the air.

School was going great until the sore eyes came about. So now, I'm just stuck at home, wishing this never happened. Time alone kills you.

Suddenly this makes me want to connect back to when Sai Nath was alone in Terengganu, coping with issues all by himself, I bet he felt way worse. Should I be thankful then?

We're all trying to write our own life failing to realise how minimal the power is in our hands when compared to destiny. Not that I'm saying leave it too destiny but you know.

I'm crapping.

I know I'm failing in what I promised you SaiNath, look at my lon karangan which you didn't want to see on my blog, its here. So is my Facebook EXTRA active now, I've been messaging you all week and hell yes a whole lot of people and the reminder is still there in my head. Who's to be blamed but me? I'm not putting the effort. I don't want to make anymore blind promises. Just be there as long as you have the patience. I know its pretty low. Mine for you was at one time as well but I never did give up on you, right to the very end.

And yes I still miss my grandpa. Its 11 years now. But I still do.

My eyes is swelling up. Esspecially now with the sore eyes. I need a hug, a day out for some inspiration. I've made up my mind. It going to be just me. I hope I stick by it.

I'm making it sound like its something major. Its not. I know.

I just feel ALONE. And a little company perhaps? I keep blaming everyone but myself.

Oh well, I ought to stop. I've been listening to Feeling Good by Muse all week afterwatching Seven Pounds.

Lesson learnt:You can never erase the past. Till then love me. Oh wait, love you.

~Kayshini Gandhi~
How can you be afraid of perfection?

inverted

2009-02-26T15:17:00.002+07:00

Hello there!!

Indeed Chem sucked majorly today. We're all soar about it.

Well me. Besides my super crap behaviour these days which fluxuates from mega highness to extreme emoing, I have got the Twilight fever back from Sheetal who's been chanting Jacob Black non-stop. And not to mention Loving Danny is still lingering. The book, is such a contrast to its content. Its cover is bright shocking pink with loving Danny written is gold and black, u might just think its some super cli'che book till u read it to the last page and realise it should have been jet black with fading brown fonts or sumthing.

But you know what these books and fantasies. Haih

Speaking of fantasies. Titanic, one of my favs. But with a twist of cuz. If you've not seen movies in a minute. You better do now!!

and if u've watched twilight, watch this

they really make my gloomy days less gloomy =)maybe urs too

me likey =)

2009-02-21T12:29:00.002+07:00

WOMAN LIKE ME-Beyonce (pretty old but nice)

Do you think
You could fall for a woman like me
'Cause I find it hard to trust
I need too much
And I really don't believe in love, no no
Do you think
That I could be the girl of your dreams
Sometimes I don't let things go
Get emotional
And sometimes I'm just out of control

You need to stop for a minute
Before you get too, deep up in it
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me

Do you think
That I could be the one that you seek
'Cause baby I'm one step ahead
You're two steps behind
But baby I don't mind
Do you think
That I can make you real happy baby
Just don't get me wrong
My loving is so strong
But I ain't tryna lead you on

You need to stop for a minute
Before you get too, deep up in it
'Cause everything ain't what it seems
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me
You need to think about it
Before you get hooked on the venom
And can't live without it
Can't believe everything you see
It's hard loving a woman
A woman like me

Gambateh Gambateh Hora HoRA

2009-02-21T10:23:00.003+07:00

hey there..been awhile....dunno if anyone comes here anymore. In any case, I'm done with cheerleading for now. Gonna miss it loads. Its like free license to move yourself in the middle of school without having ppl calling u a freak.

News flash:

1. We got second for cheerleading =( [dun wanna say more cz everyone is soar, we rocked!!]
2. We were overall 1st runners up. After 4 years of downfall, we're on the rise ones again =)
3. First formative coming up this wednesday =S

here's the video to our routine....its a lil messed up...hope we do a better recording soon

in any cayse, i finally read Loving Danny by Hilary Freeman. any i must give it a thumbs up. I feel a little ughhh!!!

i need some reassuarnace from some ppl....so till then. love you.

xoxoxo, Kayshie

As they worshipped and annoyed me.

2009-02-10T16:04:00.004+07:00

Schools taking the life out of me. I guess we're all just going into stress zone already or maybe I am.
The continuous non-stop packed schedule can sometimes really get me thinking on how to miss school.

An angelic me has been present everyday till present. Bravo!!

Thaipusam was annoying cause I came to see the reality of it. People especially the young ones decking themselves with excessive jewellery and applying super thick make up and wearing clothes they would probably wear to their sibling's wedding. In the blazing sun when I was wishing that I was clad in just my shorts and t-shirts, this bunch of them are in sarees and thavani's and flowers in their head, trying to recreate the whole Tamil movie scene.

Hold your tongue before you say I'm jealous aite! I just think people have got their priorities all wrong.

And I was standing by the drain and all I could see was an endless stream of milk flowing. I know milk resembles endless respect and stuff but come on... Thousands of people filling their pots with milk and all for the sake of washing the city's drains with milk?? You could feed people with that okay!!! Like easily 3 litres in each pot and multiply that with the amount of people carrying the pots.

For an example, a poor guy who is praying for prosperity may buy 6 litres of milk for his whole family to carry the pall kodums (milk pots). And then he pours it on the statue and all of it goes down the drain and maybe after that he prays for god to feed his family after he wastes 5 litres of milk?

Maybe I'm putting the name of my own religion at stake but someone help me justify this?

Maybe I'm just highly disturbed with school as well. Right now all I'm wishing is for sports to be over and for more energry to pull through the day.

Not one of the sunniest days, I guess. Definately an emo one. =(

Kayshini Gandhi

don't conclude anything =) I'm just in those moods

I''m a nasty bee

2009-02-05T14:47:00.004+07:00

Hello there =)

I stole some time today as I'm not in school for interact or cheering practise.

I guess stress is starting to build up on my side. Everyday I tell myself when I wake up that I'm going to study today. At least one subject and by the time its 12am I am already begging my brain for sleep. I've been so tired that I could sleep off given a chance, anywhere and anytime.

And today in class I just kept bugging Ramya cause i wanted something familiar. Class is awesome. They are just filled with life and I have Avi next to me. But sometimes I just feel so alone in the midst of all of them. Their laughter, I just get dissolved.

Mind you this is going to be emo.

And reality is hitting hard now. The moment of 2009 is about 9 months away. This time there's no people for Critical Trauma Support and all those super close to me are so far away and I'm not going to get there if I don't go through this.

And I think I'm just constantly blabbering this in my head that all I have is 9 months and anything that bothers me mid-way in this train of thought brings about a violent change in my behaviour. You hurt my ego and I'll bite back at you like a bitch.

And today in class we had PJ or PE and the teacher was talking about legalised marriage and its chronology and there's this joke bout me being so called "pregnant" and I had a few chuckles and stares and like a dumb kiddo, I cried. My tears were trickling and I was laughing simultaneously.

And from what I can see I'm going into some sort of withdrawal symptom and its not good.

I miss Ilham. Was reminiscing with her today about how we were back in Form 1. And how we are today. And Avi and Ilham were saying that I have this so called cheerleading a.k.a bimbo attitude in the air.

And there's one thing I don't seem to understand, why is it got to do with cheerleading.LoL. I feel displaced.

To my school mates, I am dying to have fun. So yea =)

I'm gonna sting you with sacarsm,
Kayshie

Random january blues

2009-01-24T21:04:00.004+07:00

yup...I know the whole "omg" fever is spreading as u read I am freakishly a cheerleader...So ideally not me....

The week has been busy and I'm just not in the mood to articulate of it down here. Just short previews..

1. I am getting contacts soon
2. Sports Day-20th Feb
3. First test-25th Feb
4. Not looking for 14th Feb
5.Stuck with my avi baby this year
6. smiling for all the right reasons-studying =)
7. want a good holiday this week

till next time, Love u all...

PHEEEEWWWWW!!! ITS FINALLY HERE

CNY HOLZ!! Happy chinese new year =)

nice kan?

madness

2009-01-17T17:18:00.001+07:00

I am a CHEERLEADER

=O

12th day of 2009

2009-01-12T17:24:00.002+07:00

Second week of school and I'm considering myself lucky or probably the most fortunate to
1)have the TIME to blog
2)the ENERGY to blog

The usual SPM candidate dilemma. The numerous amount of never ending tuition.
It seems the cure of every Form 5 student's misery is tuition. With such being the case, I wonder if they have some Multitasking tuition classes. =.=/// Out of topic I know.

I miss Suearna badly already. But she seems alien suddenly, so I have to contact J***** to enquire of her well-being.

My head feels heavy. Maybe I need some rest.

And I notice I'm pathetically being forgotten.

Thats ok. Karma will get back at all of you and I'll be smiling then=)

Happy Monday=)

one week gone

2009-01-11T09:12:00.002+07:00

2009 is crazy shit. SPM year, so its just non stop work.

I'm in the same class as Avi and Sheetal and Ramya and Wen Li. I dropped class.
And I am less than 365 days to becoming legal. Hell yea!! I just turned seventeen. Sounds sexy. I know =)

By the way my schedule for now.*Academic schedule

Monday
7.15am-2.10pm School
3.00pm-5.oopm Chemistry(Mrs.Meera-Kemaman)

Tuesday
7.15am-2.10pm School
3.00pm-4.30pm Modern Mathematics(Mrs.Pushpa)
4.30pm-6.oopm Additional Mathematics(Mrs.Pushpa)

Wednesday
7.15am-1.40pm School
4.30pm-7.00pm Bahasa Melayu(Mr.Shan-Kemaman)

Thursday
7.15am-1.40pm School
1.40pm-3.30pm Library Duty
3.oopm-5.00pm St. Michael's House Training
5.00pm-6.30pm Additional Mathematics(Mrs.Pushpa)

Friday
7.15am-12.00pm School
4.45pm-6.45pm Biology(Mr.Charles-Omega)
8.00pm-10.00pm Physics(Mr. Thanabalan)

Saturday
Homework day

Sunday
4.30pm-6.30pm Additional Mathematics (Mr.Vijay-Tmn. Daya)

So if any of you happen to be in the same classes, let me know aite.

phewww!!

A blessed January to you all

good luck Vidya with the O level results

Hello 2009!

2009-01-01T14:16:00.005+07:00

Happy new year y'all!!

2008 is GONE... And so is all the 2008 talk is GONE =)

Funny that the first thing that crossed my mind when the clock struck 12 was SPM, SPM, SPM.
I'm overly freaked out already. Anyway I'm planning to chop my hair off. SHORT.

Now, Vidya, Jeevan, Durgasen and I had superb fun =)

And I don't wanna say much.

Happy new year. a lil brain dead here

before bhajans

Jeevan & badminton?

Vidya in innercity?

us in pelangi!!

me cartooned up=)

Vidya-sharing her heart with us

wad we gave Suearna for college-perasan na?

L.O.L
~Kayshini Gandhi~

Xmas!!

2008-12-26T13:48:00.003+07:00

Christmas every year gets more and more different. It started out traditional years back with ham and the log fruit cake with to-die-for royal icing and now just plain mass at the church and open houses and yea the latest addition bhajans.

Not my ideal picture of Christmas but still =)

However yesterday, I felt so so so accomplished. Yea I'm boasting but I think we did a really good job. With bhajans and the carols were superb. Not perfect but superb. So nerve racking to not go off cause everyone is singing something different and we've gone off a million of times during practise but yet. His grace. We did it.

Centre activities are going to be cut down for me this year and I think this was the highlight for me in many years and I'm going to be really glad taking the back seat now =)

I was so nervous I forgot to record our singing. Yea what a waste. But that's ok. You know why?
Cause all four of us will be in IJC next year, so can't get that bad.

Wooohoooooooo!!!

6 days more to 2009.

SPM.Didn't touch my books much this holidays. and we get streamed first things first.

Oh well...... I am confused of what to say to you. Don't want to waste your youth cause time is a huge factor on your part. Oh well. We'll just see how it goes alright. And cheers to a new beginning...As in 2009 =)

to the rest, Merry Christmas and a happy new year =)

~Kayshini Gandhi~

LOL

2008-12-15T13:09:00.002+07:00

he rules:-Link to your tagger and post these rules.

List 8 random facts about yourself and tag 8 people
1.I'm indecisive...very
2. I cry over things like a child and am quite emotional and expressive
3. At the same time I'm very strong headed
4.I'm the exact opposite of my mum in many many ways
5. I LOVE people
6.I love to eat bread,cheese and chili sauce
7.my phone is most often on silent mode
8.i have weird ways to my everyday things

Tagging:Siapa-siapa aje la

first name: Kayshini

name you wish you had: ummm....i thing I love Kayshini

what do people normally call you: Kaysh, Kay, Kayshie

birthday: 8 January 1992

birthplace: JB

time of birth: 3.15pm

single or taken: Single

zodiac sign: Capricorn

YOUR APPEARANCE

h0w tall are you: 5' 9 1/2''

wish you were taller: neah....pretty happy with my height

eye colour: Dark brown

current hair color: Black

short or long hair: medium

ever dye your hair a bizarre color: neah....but maybe soon...purple :P

last time you did something dramatic with you hair: recently....an accident5 took place :s

glasses or contact: Glasses. Contacts soon

do you were make up: off and on. yea

paint your nails: yea...currently its a pinkish plumish purple

In A Opposite Gender.

what color eye: anything..

what color hair: well....not blonde for sure

shy or outgoing: Outgoing.

sexy or cute: sexaaaayy!!

serious or fun: ummmm....i think it comes together...but for a choice...serious

older or younger than you: Older

a turn on: ummm....the way he holds ur hands

a turn off: greasy hair...ughhh!!

This or That.

flowers or chocolates: Flowers.

pepsi or coke: coke

rap or rock: rock

relationship or one night stand: Relationship.

school or work: well...work has $$$$

love or money: =.=

movie or music: Music

country or city: City.

sunny or rainy days: Rainy days.

friends or family: Family.

Have You Ever.

lie: who hasn't?

stole something: nope

smoked: nope

hurt someone close to you: =S

broke someone's heart: ummmm...ya

had you heart broken: neah

wonder what was wrong with you: not really but lately yes

wish you were prince or princess: yea...when i was a kid

like someone who was taken: but he's not anymore =)

shaved your head: No!!!

used chopstick: Yeah.

sang in the mirror to yourself: Yeah.

Favourites.

flower: lets see......orchids

candy: kit kat!!

song: tu muskura

scent: lavender

color: purple!!

movie: twilight

singer: sooooooooooo many la

junk food: pringles

website: www.theplatonicsanctum.blogspot.com

location: JB

animal: dogs

Misc.

ever cried over someone: Yea

is there anything you wish you could change about yourself: neah....just loose couple of pounds

do you think you're attractive: .......

if you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose: sleeping beauty....all she did was sleep!!!

lalalalala....arrgghhhhh!!

2008-12-12T14:06:00.003+07:00

. Person who tagged you is?
Florence

2. Your relationship with her?
friends.

3. Five impressions of her?
Pretty, good photoshopper, witty, funny, super cute laugh!!

4. The most memorable thing she has done for you?
ummm....when we played catching in primary one and she fell on me and my specs cute my eyebrow or sumthing....LOL

5. Most memorable thing she has said to you?
Edward Cullen is ...........

6. If she becomes your lover, you will?
turn lesbian ke?

7. If she becomes your lover, thing she has to improve on would be?
errrrr....indian food!!

8. If she become your enemy, you will??
dunnoo....time will heal

9. What is it you want to tell her now?
i miss u ppl=(

10. Your overall impression on her is?
wokay lor

11. How do you think people around you will feel?
??

12. What do you love about yourself?
ummm...hair & attitude

13. What do you hate about yourself?
to be honest.....its a long list

14. The most ideal person you want to be.
welll it depends but i'm happy being me

15. For people who love and care for you, say something to them.
keep loving me=)

16. Tag ten people:

Vidya
Sheetal
Avi
Preetibah
Sonel
Vina
Tnesh
Kareema
Joey
Wen Li

17. Who is 6 having a relationship with?[Vina]
Jon? I think

18. Is 9 a male or female?[Joey]
I'm not sure

19. If 8 and 10 are together, would it be a good thing?[Kareema and wen Li]
No

20. What is 2 studying about?[Sheetal]
ummm...SPM stuff?

21. When was the last time you had a chat with 3?[Avi]
earlier today

22. What kind of music band does 8 like?[kAREEMA]
no idea.... Lamb of God?

23. Does 1 have any siblings?[Vidya]
Yea...Vina and Vikram

24. Will you woo 3?[Avi]
No tq

25. How about 7?[Tnesh]
=.=

26. Is 4 single?[preetz]
Yeah i guess

27. What is the surname of 5?[Sonel]
No idea?

28. What is a hobby of 10?[Wen Li]
she's not sure herself

29. Does 5 and 9 get along well? [Joey and Sonel]
I guess they will....same brains

30. Where is 2 studying at?[Sheetal]
same place as I am

31. Talk about something for 1?[Vidya]
ujmmmm....vidya???

32. Have you tried developing feelings for 8?[Kareema]
well we already did:P

33. Where does 9 live?[Joey]
currently molek

34. What colour does 4 like?[Preetz]
Pink!

35. Are 1 and 5 best friends?[Vidya and Sonel]
never will

36. Does 6 have any pets?[vina]
No idea

37. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world?[tnesh]
i doubt....sorry tinnu

38. What is 10 doing now?[wen li]
??

Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is briggghhhhttttttt............

2008-12-03T15:45:00.004+07:00

Many reasons not to smile yet I've grinning all day long...
I realise I've been having sleepless nights as in I dunno if I'm having visions or dreams but my aunty has been all over it. Not the one who came down. Another aunty. And by the time its morning I'm so so exhausted.

Pointless but yea.

I'm excited with fact that I'll be able to take my license in JANUARY. However my parents said after SPM but still I'm going to learn now!

I'm suppose to start STUDYING soon...But you know, its always a bit difficult until someone jump starts.

Its been so so humid these days and not to mention boring. So i've been into taking pictures and editing them.
well mostly of myself.

The other day b4 my aunty came down, my dad was chasing my bro and I to clean the house esspecially my aunty's room like crazy. We like shifted the funiture and stuff and all. So leceh.
And here was my conversation with my bro

Kayshini: (to my father) all becuz of ur sister, we have to clean!
(looking to my brother)So when I grow up and I come to visit your house you'll clean
like this la??
My bro : I wouldn't bother. Your house would be worse.
Kayshini: =.=///

Humour me

2008-12-01T12:00:00.002+07:00

I've been pacing bout what to do and the last suggestion I needed was to study. Oh well it has come.

And my aunt and cousins are prank calling me.... Imagine my aunt trying to flirt with me over the phone with her so-not-20-year-old-male-voice at 1am. Hilarious!

And my cousin, you are minced meet for indulging in the humour.

The Christmas tree is up already!! And I'm waiting to see what I get this year. From you especially!!

And I finished watchin heroes Season 3, Volume one. And I missed my class party. Oh well I'm gonna miss you Joey!!

And I'm getting sick of my playlist already. Heard all the songs over and over already. If you have some really cool music, pass them to me aite. No depressing songs plz!! Lol!!

Till then Happy december and hope to meet again!! I love the song Mana Mohini from Main Hoon Yuvvraaj...If i'm not mistaken its call enchantress of the mind. That romantic sial!!

Happy december!!!

2008-12-01T11:34:00.002+07:00

1.Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?

+ girl.. .

2. What are you doing tomorrow?

+ maybe wad i'm doing today

3. Who's the craziest on your top friends?

+ummm....saainath??

5. What are you listening to?

+ Guzarish

6. Next vacation you're going to?

+ not planned

7. Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?

+ it used to...LOL!!

8. When did you last cry?

+ lets see.......friday night??

9. Where are you going to be at 4pm tomorrow?

+ home =.=

10. Are you ticklish?

+ yes!!

11. Do you and your boyfriend or girlfriend fight a lot?

+ well.....quite...used to i mean

12. Do you like coffee?

+ love it!!

13. What was the last thing you got grounded for?

+ can't recall

14. How many kids do you plan on having?

+ 3...sons to be precise

15. Plans for tonight?

+ kill time

16. Who pissed you off today?

+ the phone

17. Who saw you cry?

+umm....some ppl

18. Do you think you will be in a relationship 8 months from now?

+8 month from now I have my SPM trials....but then again, you never know

19. What is your first name if you spell it without the letters "J" and "R"

+ Still Kayshini!!

20. Are you wearing make up?

+ nope

21. Have you had your birthday yet this year?

+ I had....in fact the next one is on the way *hint hint*

22. Where was the last place you went?

+ lets see....angsana

23. What color are the walls of the room

+ white and pink

24. How many letters are in your middle name?

+ no middle name

25. Whats your relationship with the person you last called?

+ friend i guess?? xD

28. Do you like roller coasters?

+ yea!!

29. If someone likes you, would you want them to tell you?

+ yes i think

30. How late did you stay up last night?

+ 3 am

31. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?

+ yea

32. Did you ever lose a friend?

+yea....

33. Is your birthday coming?

+ lets see 39 days to go!!

34. What happened at 9:30 am today?

+ZZZzzzzzzzzz

35. Who was the last person to call you?

+Enoch and my aunt prankin!!

36. Last text from?

+ Suearna

aftershocks

2008-11-25T09:07:00.003+07:00

Face the fact. One week is gone and one month to go.

And yet still I can't decide if to enjoy it for once before the SPM thingy starts or to start early. Well duh you know my choice =)

My aunt is finally arriving after 6 long years and I'm expecting her to have quite a culture shock.
Firstly of the height of course!!
And then rest of the physical attributes
and my speech
and mentality
and so on....You know, six years brings about a lot.

And then Christmas is just around the corner and it always means so much to me. It reminds me how Christmas use to be with the turkey, wine and awesome fruit cake with yummy royal icing. The Christmas tree, the presents, my grandpa, the church mass, the people, the easy-going-ness, the parties, the kids. It just means so much.

Sadly these days its been rather dull and people think christmas was awesome.

With mere english bhajans =s
No further comments.
Sometimes I miss being a kid-for the only reason that my grandpa would be around. Every christmas I would still cry remembering him.

Anyway, to Jeevan, Durgasen, Athera, Puvan, Thisen, Thines, Darshan, Vikram. Thank you so much for volunteering.

To Tnesh, thanks for the camera...... I had so much fun!!!!

And so now, time to keep occupied with sumthinn sumwhere

Cheeeeeeezzzzyyyyyy

2008-11-21T15:15:00.002+07:00

I look at the calender and I know my days are just limited. I've watched all my good friends finish this lapse and its know my turn....

I know its no joke. I have to work it out really well and cause at the end I know what I want and what I need.

Perhaps now its time to really sit and decide on my field and career and all that.

Its that time of the year again. Tension rises, anger flares. Whatever it is, it has to go on.

One way or another. One more month of honeymoon and then terror and poverty strikes. Same time last year I was packing for India. with so few people to bid goodbye to. And after a year now, the list has grown, the ideology and stuff. And i lately realise I am such an idealist. And I think thats the personality I'm developing.

Bless me.

the year is coming to an end and changes won't stop.

cheers!

Wedding blues =x

2008-11-16T19:16:00.002+07:00

the week is yet to begin in hours to come and i know its going to be the week of the year....the only time i'm freaking busy, so u have to book me =)

Its just practise practise and lots of stuff but I guess its better than watching the new Okto channel in s'pore.

so much to say yet the words are constricted....
I feel guilty to some..
Feel mad at some.
Feel sorry for some.
Feel stupid to some.

yes i know you don't get me.

just want a lot of distraction now....

anything you got will be fine.

guy-cash-party-music-drinks-piercing-dates

anything oso can =p

so give me a call at 01x-xxxxxxx

thanks yea....doing such a big favour.

and anyone know a good printer for my wedding card?? vidya failed me on this one....lol!!!

anyway, the groom seems to be a problem now...there are potentially 2 of them...

i think i better stop

~Kayshie~

I'll pay up for it

2008-11-14T12:34:00.003+07:00

The last day of school today and I didn't go... Yay for me!!

And my countdown for SPM starts like now. A year to go and as always I know what I want and what I have to do but whether or not it happens its in my hands and His hands.

But before we get to all that, I just wanna bare things out. I clearly realise blogging it is not going to solve anythin but its just an avenue I'm going to use.

Yesterday at bhajans, the message of the week was clear. Pain only comes when your desires fail to be granted. So yes. I'm a girl with a long list of desires. And so thats why I have a lot ogf pain... Shushhh....Don't tell me anything of what I should do. Just read.

=S

I am stupid. Very stupid instead. Knowing how he loved her, I should have never gone for it. And knowing how I felt about him I should have never promised to at least get them 20% close to walking down the aisle. Yes I did Vidya. Hate me for it.

But I guess through him I saw how love should be and knowing we will NEVER work out, I tried to replicate him. His saga. And then realise that things ot to shitty. I said no to ppl I would die to say yes to.

I cancelled my "wedding". Actually no.. but hahaha...

And I think at this stage all I want his happiness for him. Its madness. Maybe in 2 years I'm going to laugh this shit off with you Vidya, I might.

But then again. For now it hurts. I'm not going to complicate things. But it hurts a lot. Esspecially he calls you and the first and last thing he talks about is about that girl he loves.
I don't want to be her. I'm serious but just don't rub it on everytime that I'll never be her.

It might take a year or two or maybe just months. I'll be okay I know. Just more crying it out and fun will solve everything.

Its the only option left. My stupidity. My mistake.

and so yea.. My punishment

Sad la wei =(

2008-11-05T16:36:00.004+07:00

this will never happen cause everyone is so bloody short....so no way i need to tip toe =(

and i feel super freakin blah!!

but then only 2 more days of absolute chaos

haih.....

~Kayshini Gandhi~

Diwali Mania

2008-10-30T09:45:00.005+07:00

I noticed I have neglected my blog here quite a bit.
Anyway the Diwali highlights!!!

On Friday, we had a service project at the Kolam Ayer temple for the kids from Jubilee Home residents. Like every year, we gave them clothes and had games and stuff. It was fun.

them cutting the diwali cake?

Later that night,PP(Prakash Pillai), Puvan, Lien and I decided to go to the bazaar at town with my parents tagging along later. It was just wacky trying to get him something. There were cute guys. YES THERE WERE!!!

However on Saturday it was just baking and baking and baking and baking and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. Thank God Lien was there to help. This went on to Sunday till bout evening.cookies and more cookies

And then I sort of straightened my hair and had a 70's look with hairband but it din stay long though.
And that night PP picked us up and we went to town to change his jeans which was the wrong size. And we ended up buying another jeans of my choice. Biasa la my taste is good ryte??

Puvan and PP!!

And then we headed of to the party at Vidya's place and it was so so so much fun... Danced the night away and woa....seriously fun.Guess who?? Thanks for teaching me bout the camera

And then it was Diwali morning. And we had some cooking to do. Ilham and Suearna came over for lunch. So did my parents' collegues and stuff.

And that evening PP came over to try my baking. And we were watching a telemovie which he was relating much to.Poyo siblings on Diwali morning

And then to my grandma's place for the party with all my cuzzies. Damn bloody nice u noe.

Us!!-Tash,Puvan,Pavitra and I!!

And the day after Diwali was just slow. I went and did something to my face which I am not used to at the moment. Threading. So the skin tone is just uneven. Cuz my actual face tone is like my dad's and u noe how i am like now...so major tone clash at places. Dun laugh so hard whne u see me =.=

And yesterday I went over to my grandma's place to lepak with my cousins from KL and Ipoh. And we helped to cook some authentic Sri Lankan food. The taste was just heavenly wei. Heavenly!!

And here I am today. Just rose from my crib. and should be rightfully be studyin.

Diwali was great but the best part were my nephews and neices. Here are some of them.

I forgot here name but she is sweet
and friendly

Her brothers-From left:Jibu@ Stephen & Sean

Analica/Asha/Pavalam/Make-up Rani/potential bimbo

Mr.I'm-so-hot....I could just drool over my sayang, Krishanth

My favourites,from left: Krishanth and Jaishana

Have fun guys. Can't wait for year end holidays. So slog hard!!!

Happy Diwali and Happy studying!!!

Cheers!!

apppaaaaarummmmm(and then??)

2008-10-22T14:32:00.005+07:00

I dunno how many times I would have told myself, I want to blog and I'll sit at the create posting for some time and just think hard of what to say.

The exams are on and chem was a lil blah.

I guess I'm just stuck here again. I miss the company and the fun. Well I have my daily dose of it over the phone. I guess I'm just really anxious bout diwali, maths papers, bday preps, akhanda bhajans, my aunty coming down, the drama then, bhajan team retreat, christmas and my 17th bday and then form 5 life, literature paper, spm and so on...u noe the stuff...

and want to see who's going to walk in and out and see if i can speak good tamil by the 8th of jan next year... heheheh...

and if i get contact lenses!!! wohoooo!!

and meet my cuzzies.

Let me enjoy life. let me just do this xm's and remain in science 2. It would mean a lot.

And roy is suppose to murder me. 3 and a half hours ago and he still hasn't...ish ish ish...

i think i have to seriously be sejarah-ing now...like last night...

look at the pitiful face =(

well basically i'm restless and i want my diwali treats and partys and not to mention ang-pows soon.....not fair that got exams.

but then again sweety, what is ever fair....

and i've been singing dhoom since morning =S
and wondering why is he angry for trusting his potential wife =x

I guess i'm playing a dangerous game now and someone stop me before i end up wid a Mrs. before my name....hahahahahahaha

till then chowz....i have a new thing for akshay kumar now....he has such a good boy look. Goodbye abishek, hello akshay =)

and i think aakash is a nice name....so is shivani...so dun name ur kids that. cuz i will.....
I'm getting worried now...

this is for u akshay =x
actually its for u meera~arabian nites

I'm nuts

Long time since last

2008-10-18T20:40:00.002+07:00

Its been indeed pretty long since I last had a lengthy post ain't it?? Cause I was mood out for some time and when I was in mood the keyboard was spoil. So explains why I guess.

As the previous pictures show, I had culture exchange with Lien from Belgium and its been hell of a time.

Yes I know. My final exams start day after and yes I am not exactly prepared.
But no reason to back out. Its timeto face the music after a really lepak form 4 life.

Yesterday my god. Yesterday yesterday.
I don't feel like propaganda-ing here but I truly feel like a fool.
I always felt that people whom were close to you, trusted you.
And you were meant to share and stuff.
But I was wrong. Very wrong.
But like my bestie always tells me, everything happens for a reason.
And we must be always ready to face the actual REASON.

I am crapping. I don't feel like saying anything else.
Cut open in two ways for the same one reason.
In any case, even if I don't have you.

I only want to see you happy and easy. So wipe away those tears.
As long as I love you, no more crying aite???

can't believe i said that. *disgusted*

Kayshini Gandhi*screw loose*

love me tender

2008-10-13T11:30:00.008+07:00

I love (x100) this people..

When god takes away one of your beloveds, he gives a whole new different bunch to replace them

Horoscope for October 13, 2008

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

The goal you have set for yourself is extremely attainable if you just persevere!

to blog with an on screen keyboard

2008-10-11T12:55:00.006+07:00

i had fun. and i'll miss all of u

Privacy intruded

2008-09-29T12:49:00.005+07:00

Dunia aku sudah terbalik
Translation: My world is now upside down =p

My privacy has been intruded in every single way that nothing is private now. From my cell phone to blog to accounts.

Good for those people who find such pleasure in doing such stuff.

I came across this quote the other day. I think its very nice.

"He who does not understand your silence probably does not understand your words either"

Well the pass few days has been like living in a deserted island. But I enjoy the whole whole urban, sunshine thing. I think you don't get me.

Nevermind.

And yesterday, I was screaming Alonso's name in front of the tv. I knew the guy would get it after sucking at the qualifiers.
Wohhoooo....F1 night race was awesome and I'm going to try to get myself there the next time.

Navarathri starts tomorrow and so does the vanity grow in girls to dress up as girly as possible.
I'll have a blast.

With the aunties. And get pampered. =p

A special greeting to

Jeevan @ JA

I think Jeevan, we have a mutual understanding going on and definately have learn where to draw the lines when it comes to stuff. You're one hell of a person. Thanks for the exposure to Avenged Sevenfold, for my last minute needs, great awakening when I need it. And definately a role model to all those smartness and brain power. How I came to know you well is such an irony but you're one hell of a company May all your WISHES come true.

Bharath anne @ Bana

This anne here has managed to get my mum's married-with-two-kids collegue go gaga over him. With such acceptable looks, I wonder why he is still single. Maybe he's having a difficulty choosing who he wants. Anyway he has been one of the few people who has been always willing to hear us teens crap our way and cover up for us at times and I think we've all got him injto heaps of trouble. But you really do things well.
When will I see the Mrs. Bharath?
I wonder.

Happy birthday guys! You ppl rock and I rule. =p

When people you know become people you don't know....

2008-09-25T14:02:00.003+07:00

Do you remember the person whom you first sat with in primary school?
Do you remember the person whom you used to love playing catch with?
Do you remember the person who pushed you in school?
Do you remember the person who had a crush on the teacher?
Do you remember the person whom you sent crying at school?
Do you remember your rival in school?
Do you remember the person you used to sing Westlife with?
Do you remember the first time you stained your clothes in school?
Do you remember your first fight in school?
Do you remember the first person you fell for?
Do you remember the person you cried for?
Do you remember the very first best friend you had?

Do you know them all still?

Truthfully I have forgotten many. Lost touch with many and those whom I still have contact with are now all just hi-bye cases.

Sometimes when you think about it, you tend to laugh at all those ridiculous things. Maybe in years I'm going to laugh reading this very blog again.

Everyday to me these days breathe in a fresh new meaning. I don't have awesome conversations, I end up being stuck to my worst dreaded people. I don't get to talk to people I want to. I end up filtering my words and thought by 70%. I have to face people being vain and foolish. Sometimes I have intellectual talks with Kareema. Culture exchange with Lien. Catching up with Ilham on what she buka puasa with. At random times a snack with Sheetal and the gang.

And the one constant in everyday is change. They all suddenly become strangers you just met yesterday. I can no longer find the humour in conversations with some people I used to laugh forever with. I can no longer emphatise on your situations. I don't see the point in why extreminism.

Guess I was once there and still am.

However there is a lesson I've learned lately about balance. I am not sure if I can share everything here but I must say it helps. To smile when you are at your worse. To suppress all your excitement when you are happy. Or for that matter, staying calm when you want to blow your head off.

I must say it makes a distinct difference in the way you feel.

And if I go on this way which some address as isolation or emo, I'll be happy.

I hope I'm right.

What was my point again?

Happy Hari Raya and happy holidays.

Kayshini Gandhi
The essence of life is hidden within=)

Jealous freak

2008-09-23T15:11:00.002+07:00

Today was a very moody day. Everyone who came across my part just got my nerves.

Good thing not many did bother.

Lately I've been smacked a fact on my face.
I have to share everything I have.
Not like I ever had a problem with it.

But to share something you like a lot with a friend. A good friend perhaps.
Jealously comes in.
I have to admit it.
My friend-you know who you are.

You know I have nothing againts it all but this stupid human emotions run in sometimes.
I just need time to get used to it. And I will real soon. Till then excuse me please. I may sound unreasonable but seriously I'm sorry. I feel very guilty having to face you.

In any other case, I feel that I deprive myself from satisfaction.

Holy shit. I crap a lot.

Time to change

2008-09-22T10:29:00.002+07:00

The rules and regulations:

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

1. I am constantly addicted to people. If I was to get to know you very well, I would tend to have a major hangover you. Like majorly

2. I love coffee and I believe it has a positive effect in healing me.

3. Most often I need someone to boost my semangat. Very much like a child who needs motivation constantly. I think I am a child.

4. I like eating bread, cheese and chili sauce. And i think cheese spread and jam make a super good combo.

5. I tend to trust and give in very easily and I think that's my major weakness.

6. I lie sometimes to feel good. I lie to myself and also to you.

7. Break my heart once and I'll cry it off. Break it twice and I'll love you more. Seriously.

8. In my opinion, perfection is never possible.

9. I am religious although I don't portray that often. Life without bhajan=boredom

10. I think beyond infinity. When it comes to anything and that makes me whiny and emo.

11. I believe my goals and dreams are very close to reality if I solve evrythin I said from 1-10 is solved.

12. I love extended family time. You may know why. When you get deprived of it.

13. Like everyone, goodbye for me is the most difficult and impossible to do. I guess when I get to college everything will be okay.

14. I am such a pessimist and its time to change.

15. I just wasted time and thanks Sonel for the tag.

TAGGING:
Sheetal
Avi
Vidya
Tnesh
Kareema
And whoever whatever....

T.H.E.Y

2008-09-19T15:27:00.006+07:00

mummy and daddy

Puvarnish

Ilham

Tnesh

Rau

Ramya

Sai Nath

Kavita

Jagveer

Vidya

Sheetal

Suearna

Jeevan

They have mattered...

When are you going to matter??

Kayshini Gandhi

Silly me =S

2008-09-17T07:37:00.008+07:00

Silly me. Not been blogging for days and not been going to school for two days now.
Don't worry I am not emoing. Just had food poisoning.
Jagveer's keeps asking me "Why you always sick?? Sway la!!"

Thanks Jag. A lot of encouragement there. =(

Anyway its been a long long week. So much to update. However I'm starting to wonder if anyone comes around here anymore. Nevertheless, I'll do my part.

For starters:

Friday, 12th September 2008
To kill time waiting for suearna, she suggested I go to metrojaya and try out clothes a.k.a window shop. You won't believe it. I did it. (pls dun think too far)

Kimono top

Some skimpy dress which i covered with the top

Later then, it was Aswirni's arengetram(dance graduation) and so Suearna had to wear a saree. So she needed my help to get it on and I also decided to clad myself in a saree. We even got Vidya over to help us. Sadly we failed terribly. Suearna tied her Saree about 5 or 6 times and I tied it bout 2 or 3 times. And if you know it takes long to tie a saree. What more when 3 barely-17 year olds get a hand at it.

mami in saree!!

We somehow got into the saree. The dance was good esspecially the one where the story is about this girl who ask her friend to jadi the orang tengah for her love. Reminded me of myself. How I always jadi orang tengah. I've got used to it though.
I find it fascinating when someone can express themselves or an emotion so passionately throught their voice or actions. It really is amazing. I guess I'm just an art lover. =D

passionate art lovers~bf and I =D

Saturday, 13th September 2008
I woke up early this day. Not very early. But early for a Saturday. DID ADD MATHS AND SEJARAH. And then had lunch.
sorry sheetal, couldn't make it to the library
And then we headed off to Kluang~mum's hometown.
Apparently my mum's good family friend and my grandmother's classmates/ best friend's husband had passed away about a month ago. So we went for the mass after 40 days and followed by dinner.
As usual everyone was fascinated my the fact I was an exact copy of my mum but more like my grandma actually.
The weirdest part was people asked if they could take a picture of me cause I was such a resemblence =.=

great resemblance

equally good resemblance

And then that night I spoke absolute sense to a buddy of mine. I felt proud cause I am a good friend. I need a bit of self praise at times.

Oh yea. The highlight!! I bought a spongebob pillow and Puvan bought a Patrick teddy.And I got Jeevan something too. But can't tell what. And I got Ilham the exact same Spongebob too!!

patrick!!!

Sunday, 14th September 2008
I guess I gave Mr. Lim a shock. I have been missing Chemistry tuition for over a month now and he gave his usual smirk and comments. DON'T CARE UNFORTUNATELY. And then I had BM tuition. We hardly study there and I think Mr. Shan has given up on us. LOL.

Monday, 15th September 2008
I went to school. My classmates's mother passed away. Was very tragic. She sits quite close to me. And it was so agonizing to see her cry the whole day. Even when she smiled during English, there was so much uncertainty there in her eyes. Tragic la. But thats life. There's this poem in Sanskrit which says:

naliniidalagata jalamatitaralam tadvajjiivitamatishayachapalam viddhi vyaadhyabhimaanagrastam lokam shokahatam cha samastam
Translation:Uncertain is the life of man as rain drops on a lotus leaf. Know that the whole world remains a prey to disease, ego and grief.

I mean if you look at the depth of it. It very true.

And then I started add maths with a new teacher. And its shorter than 2 hours cause I have classes twice a week. So tiring when I'm there. Dunno why.
And then we checked out this restaurant Vaanavil. However I suspect the food poisoning was from there =S But the food was good.

And till this moment
I ahd food poisoning. That you already know. Life has been treating me kind. Not too nice and not too mean. The exams are coming ad my health is failing me. Don't worry. No such lame excuses from me.
I have been angry and frustrated and everything.
But most importantly I've been making others happy.
SELF PRAISING AGAIN.

I realised I have been making changes for others just because they like it that way but now I wanna be happy, happy for myself. I want to smile cause I feel like doing so or cry cause I feel like doing so and not cause of someone else. DUH I know but you know how it happens ryte?

Sometimes I get very sick cause its always about you, you and you. But thats the price I have to pay? To have a friend back?
Gosh
This weekend I can't make up my mind. Cause. I have 2 events to attend.

1. Joey's bday party.
The theme is awesome and its someone I know well enough and my classmates will be there. Will be fun I know....

BUT SHOULD I
2. Go for a wedding dinner
God knows who's wedding it is. I mean somebody we know but not well. But there will be like so so many people who I know ther. My buddies as in. Vidya and the Rau's and all.

Dunnola. Let fate take its place. =D

Till next time,
Kayshini Gandhi

~Brace yourselves~

I have Edward Cullen....muahahahah

2008-09-11T16:34:00.002+07:00

I never paid attention to its lyrics....but look at how deep it runs...

Say(all I need)

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Chocolate fudge and milk....Mmmmmmmmm

2008-09-10T15:43:00.003+07:00

I finally made my may to the new library...

Such an irony that I live nearest to it and I'm the last one in town to got check it out. Not bad selection of books I must say compared to the previous library which had books like "Sang Kancil dan Buaya"

Using a friend's membership card I borrowed a book.

Girl, 16 Pants on fire.

I shall review bout it when I finish then.

Anyway the bicara for today is about "Relationships"

Cut the crap bout the family ties and socially accepted ones.

I'm talking bout the ones your parents would not be too happy bout. The ones that would be the talk of the school. The one that creates a little bit of jealousy in you. The one that adults claim as "young love" or "puppy love".

I wonder why puppy and not kitten.

Anyway, I always thought that these relationships would somehow enhance one's young life. In the sense that you have someone you can turn to anytime. And someone to train your love life with. For all you know find your life partner at a young age. I know people who have okay!!

But anyway that's what I felt bout it. Came across many potential ones....Got on with one or two people whom I really thought could work.

And even at the moment going front and back about a particular person.

But I've come to realise that the point behind this entire drama and hormone-ruled emotions is entirely insignificant to the age.

Even like when you get older. You find someone who cares for you very much, who is very much like you, who can give you evrything you need to be happy.

And you happily walk down the aisle and get married. Throw the bouquet, remove your garter and head off to your honeymoon.

Get kids. Scream at them. Raise them up. Spend like crazy for them.

If you're lucky, the guy you married is still the same.
You get older. The youth is gone.
Your face wrinkles up.
You end up gardening everyday to kill time (thats if plants still exist when you get older)
Fall sick.
Hospitalised .

One fine day you die.
~tHE eNd~

Thats what the norm does these days. Therefore I shall comment on the adult life.

But back to th relationships.
I've seen myself. My friends.
All cry over some bozo guy.
And get all emo. And blog like me. LOL.
And then cut themselves.
Cry even harder.
And then the next minute you know,
there's a new guy.

Or maybe.
A happy young couple.
For years together or maybe in love
Said all the "till death do us apart" lines.
One fine day,
break.

Or maybe like some of my friends
who claim they are through with relationships and love
and will marry the person of their parents choice
BULLSHIT!!
Next thing you know there's a hot chick/dude in their picture.

Not hittiong at anyone here.
But its conusing what the whole point here is.
I've been in the shoes and probably still am.

But at this very moment I realise that

1) I didn't get a point across
2) I confused myslef typing this

So give me your view.

Why a relationship?

why?? why?? why?? why??

Tag and let me know.

Till then.
Keep loving your sweethearts.

Hyper-confused and confusing,
Kayshini Gandhi

Balance it up baby!!!

2008-09-08T15:04:00.004+07:00

Edward to Bella~Breaking Dawn

"Its all about balance, love. You're so good at all this, I don't imagine it will take too long to put everything in perspective."

Unfortunately I am not Bella. I can't balance and I have a big time problem about putting things into the right perspective.
I've been extra observant of how people balance up their life.
With work, studies, family, kids, love, sex, exercise, hobbies and etc.
How to be stable in every aspect.

I've seen myself over and over again being absorbed at a particular moment. Moments of euphoria and extreme depression. I've seen how my emotions rule me and I think by this age there should be something else that rules me.

It was just two days ago that I was majorly emo-ing and here I am today laughing and smiling for the very same reason and maybe in 3 days time I'm going to go back to square one.

And the clock is ticking faster now. The final exams are coming up. The start to the final showdown which will arrive very soon November 2009.

I guess I always like to know what the future beholds. And the I work for it.
Its like I must see what is it I'm getting before I go for it.

Like movies. We have a quick review and then only buy the ticket and etc etc.

Basically I just need to get back in control.

The barriers I have to break. To be in control.

It'll solve so much.

I bet you think I'm nuts.

Do I fucking care?

whoops....that was mean.

toodles for now.

Take care.

Brace yourself
~Kayshini Gandhi~

I believe you are capable in making me say this.

Repair phase

2008-09-05T15:27:00.003+07:00

Once again I feel this way

I feel dumb. Very dumb cause I always let my emotions take control of me. I always surrender myself to my hormones~not in that way ~~Joey~~
But it happens over and over again and sometimes I wonder why am I so dumb? When its the almost similar thing every time, why get so effected? Shouldn't I be immune already? Or is it cause I keep avoiding the problem and finally its all bottled up.

I have faced lies and betrayal and everything, so whats the whole fucking point now?

How can I actually turn out to be someone that weak?
How can I fall for stupid punch lines and just get paralysed ?
How can I let someone I barely know destroy my 16 years of faith and identity?
Could I truly be so weak?

I can't do what Vidya is doing now.
Converting sadness to anger.

Why?
Cause of love?
I fucking doubt so. Maybe a little bit.
But I think its because I am tired of becoming the prey.
Because I am giving up.

At such a crucial time and I know its not the time to cry and cry and at the end of the day blame it on this stupid issue.

Maybe now I know why people used to forbid this.
Too young to understand.

I'll do what I do best. The music. The laughter. The jokes. The sarcasm. The cam whoring. The obsessive blogging. The ~~flirting~~ checking out.

I shouldn't be running away from the fact that this is going to happen and its not the end of the world.

Like Vidya said yesterday, "You sound as if the kids in Africa are starving".

hahahahahahahaha.....

To you.
You are losing out.
There is nothing I am losing but my sanity.
But you so lost your identity.
At this point, don't manipulate yourself.
Cause the secret is out.
You're not telling the truth.

Anyway fuck the issue.
I have a life to get back on track.
So who cares.
If you lie.
Or if you hide.
Or if you test.
Where do I stand in your life??
Till the day I know.
Let me move on.
Come back only when you are decided.

But for now I have to do what I do best.
My priorities come into question.
So......
God help me.

Till then

P/S: I love you too. All of you

2008-09-04T16:03:00.002+07:00

2nd post of the day!!!!
Its another one of those days where I am bored, tired and annoyed.

This is to someone.
To anyone.
Help

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh now now stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Don't tell me its a state of depression!!

NO ITS NOT!!!!!!

Revival....PD

2008-09-04T13:32:00.006+07:00

It indeed has been long. Not so long but its been a while.
I know i promised the frog dissection pictures but let me get over and done with Port Dickson.

I never fancied Port Dickson cause it always gave me a typical Malaysian beach. Definitely not as bad as Pantai Lido but I've seen better beaches and holiday spots.

But anyway I went to Port Dickson for the Sathya Sai Educare Academy Awards.
If you are a Sai devotee I bet I don't need to give you much of an explanation. Technically its something like Conformation Day for the Christians but in reality its not. But just to give you the rough idea.

After a tiring and hectic Installation Day (Friday), it was so tiring to pack for Port Dickson especially with the specific rules from my mother
1)Decent clothing
2)Comfy for long hours
3) Preferably traditional

So practically every shorts I picked was rejected and any t-shirt I picked up was rejected but I somehow managed to pack and went to bed like a log.

It felt like minutes when my mum was waking me up again to get ready. It was about 4.30am.
So I went for my bath, jumped into a pair of jeans, kurti top and a shawl to go with it.
Packed my last minute stuff which were the eyeliner, charger, battery charger, earphones, earrings, camera and etc etc.
And my jacket and pillow to sleep in the car and went straight into the car to sleep and waited for the rest to come.

We then picked Ramya and went to Vidya's place as we were to leave together and to our horror Vidya's entire family was asleep so we had a one hour delay waiting for them. In any case we left at 6am.

Don't ask me what happened. I was asleep. Next thing I know, we are at Ayer Keroh. Having breakfast.
Went back on the roads. Took the wrong road which made us go an extra 36km. By the time we reached the venue(Glory Beach Resort), it was 9am.

Saw many familiar faces, Aunty Asha, Surekha, Sajeeta Akka, Ghandhini akka etc etc.

The adults had their AGM and we had time to kill. We basically sat facing the beach doing crap, talking crap. The boys went knocking on some room doors and frightened this two old malay ladies.

Sai Ramya ~buddy

Vina and I

All 16 and sweet

Puvan's so called car

Saiesha~hope i got it ryte

Finally then the JB drama team arrived and more people we knew but I was still confined to my same group. Lunch was served. And I started sneezing. Yup the flu started there.

And then we had to get into our attire for the graduation. The long maroon skirt and white long sleeved top. I looked so hideous. I think we all did.
Thats when Vidya's dad saw Ramya and said, "Can you look a bit more glamed up?"
Cause she tied jher hair in the usual ponytail, not much eyeliner nor the fancy earrings.
It was too late for eyeliner and earrings but the hair prob could be solved. So i gave Ramya a fringe and...............

didn't turn out like vidya's~ see below

Once it was all over as in the ceremony I had some time for the beach. The cafe down there had the music blasting. It was Merdeka eve so there was a countdown party which we didn't join.
Ramya and I decided to do something better.

Pd sunsetfirst shot turned out good

Ramya: I like your hair Kaysh
Kayshini: who doesn't??
buddies for a long time now

turn your heads ladiesRamya was a bit unsure bout this shot.

Eventually mum, dad, Puvan, Ramya and I went to beach. Wet our legs by the moon. Bought snacks. And then got home and lepak-ed. It was fun talking to Ramya. I forced her to keep me awake.

LOL. Poor her.

By Sunday morning I was gone. I was sick ad was in bed the whole day. I got accused by Rau that I forgot his bday. Whatever Rau. If thats what you think of me.

They day was slow. It was time to go.

A final stop.

Melaka for lunch.

Via the old road, the best part.

I was excited Melaka was unplanned for but I love Melaka so much. And so we were driving and driving and driving via the old road and we got lost.

So we took the immediate exit to the highway. Turned out we were heading to Seremban. Melaka plans got cancelled.
Lunch was at the Ayer Keroh Bridge stop.
KFC.
*SIGH*

I didn't wanna leave. Not so soon

But it was fun meeting up with people and evrything.

Till the next time

Brace youself,
Kayshini Gandhi

p/s: I tried Sheetal.

White lies

2008-08-28T15:08:00.002+07:00

I really never planned it.
But I thought after all, why should we act foolish.
As I always said it was an investment you made.

And you sounded happy.
You claim I missed you when you only passed my head after days in reality.
Who misses who?

At the end of the day you're going to say it was a white lie.
For my own progress.
Yea I think you are right.
But look at what you are doing to yourself.

You show yourself too much that the lies won't cover.

And at the end you tell me don't go, stay a little longer.
That makes me go faster.

Cause we don't deserve lying.
So don't even try.
Put it behind.

Lets start afresh from the first introduction and lets rewrite it.

Its pathetic.
This great white lies is not going to get you or me anywhere.

Cause the reality of it is I don't care.

But I'll care for you as long as fate permits.
And you can be there as long as I permit.

You take care.

Everyone take care.

IJC Interactors~The clock is ticking. Faster now.

Brace yourself
~Kayshini Gandhi~

New news

2008-08-27T15:22:00.009+07:00

Well....its a fact.....

Silence.
The one thing I was never able to stand

Isolation.
My worst fear.

Emptiness.
The last thing that would happen to me.

I was so so wrong bout it all and now I have to face my 3 worst fears. Hard on.

And I must say there is nothing so fearful bout. In fact I like it and I never thought numbness could feel this good and that it could change so much.
Society. I cared to much bout it once only to regret it now.
anyway.
Life has no regrets just lessons.

My ultimate goal now is to repay in graditude.

But what happens after that? What the future beholds? Such agony to not know. I would have told one or two of you about my "Live, eat, reproduce" theories.
I think it makes a lot of sense.

Yea weird I know.

sheeesh....This is ironic cause after a week of not blogging I am pondering of what to say here. Neah I have not been busy if you assumed I was.

So lets see... I'll just recap evrything that has been going on or going to go on.

1.Convent Installation Day

Date :29th August 2008
Time :1.00pm
Price :RM 12

Make your way down to support us yea.

2. There's a new addition to my family.

Welcome to Ava Patel and Bailey Patel. My neice and nephew. Pictures coming up soon!!!
Take care of them Luca.

3. Aunt from Aussie is coming down soon.

Now I am so looking forward to this cause I have missed my daddy's sista so so much. And she'll be here long. Come quick mami...Quick!!!

4. Jeevan teaches a stupid nut bass
Yea the stupid nut is me without doubt. I needed desperate lessons and he was really kind to teach me. Thanks jeevs!!! And jeevan can ~~sing~~ draw really well. Realli...

I'm dead now.

5. Breaking Dawn
I've been reading Breaking Dawn online. Yup its available online. I am planning to get the entire series on a disc. Thanks to Umesh's idea. I'll save much time and money and space and paper. And I can share it. I think its an awesome idea.

6. Ilham bakes cookies
As unbelievable as it sounds, she really did bake chocolate chip cookies. Pretty nice cheewy one like Rusk and simply deliciouso. Buat untuk Raya eh?? LoL.
And the Hershey choco chips....Yummy!!!! Too bad if you missed it.

7. Jo-eyh...I mean Joey
Joey's been whacking me like crazy ever since Monday. Like crazy!!! My hand may just fracture at her blows. Like really. Just beacuse she has a model figure, don't assume she is delicate. One hell of a whacker wei.

Jojo-revenge is sweet joey*so says Chin Fang*

8. Patriotic Choir
We lost like evryone noes. Unexpectedly loss. 4 science 2/2008 has been known for its creativity since the beginning of the year and our song was awesome. with the suspense natinal anthem which breaks into another song and the unity rap part from the song "Here in my home" which is a MALAYSIAN production.

Most teachers thought it was a singapore one. And its one of the lame factors why we lost.

9. Graduation

The long awaited graduatiuon is this week. So I'll be spending my National at Post Dickson. With god knows who all.

10. Good lucks

Good luck to the following ppl.

Vidya for the prelims which will finish tomorrow.
Suearna who has trials ahead.
Tnash and their relationship. ~No typo error
Rau with school.Hope evrything gets better.
Jeevan with college again. Don't miss *^#@!^$ Jb
All IJC Interactors with Install.
Jagveer with the new start and the goodbye's to pain.
Malaysians to spend the wise weekend ahead well.

11. Frog dissection

Yup finally. The long awaited Bio experiment.
Chin Fang , Joey, Florence (view their blogs for their stories) and I were in a group and at first I was screaming at the live frog with Kim and all. But once the chloroform took effect, Joey and I kicked started the experiment and started cutting through. I was trembling. Yes I was. We all were.

And we were so thrilled the heart was still beating. And then we removed all the frogs organs and skin and Irene removed the eyes from her frog. Yes she did. We had a Hitler moment.
But we gave it a good burial.

I'm having a problem uploading the pictures here currently. I'll upload them later. The pictures are the best part of it all.... Realli!!!

Thats about it I guess. Till then take care and god bless.
To "someone" who asked if I was happy now.
~~>I dunno if I am but I know this phase is helping me working as antidote. And so don't worry.
I'm here for you too.

guess wad song this is???

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
Far away from here

Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold.

I fell in love with it instantly. Do listen.
Thanks to the person who gave it to me.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

Till then you take care

--=Kayshini Gandhi=--

Do I love you because you're beautiful, Or are you beautiful because I love you?

2008-08-21T11:54:00.009+07:00

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
~Garrison Keillor~

My mind triggers off yet again. Don't ask me why I can think so fast and far....*cheh*

How often have you heard people say this, count you and I in.

"walao, see my hair la wei...Like wad only"

"omg...so ugly wei...delete the picture..

" 'i'm so eww looking..wad will ppl say"

"he/she deserves better...look at me"

"walao...i look like shit la wei"

It just happens rite. All of the sudden the image you see on the mirrors and photographs is like the biggest *malapetaka* of all times.

or maybe

You happen to call for a cab and suddenly the cab driver looks a little unpleasent. you think twice bout getting in the cab cuz your brain has started judging this person you so dunno just based on his looks.

You may say the first impression counts but hey sometimes ppl are just born that way. And its pathetic if you(not even the size a full stop on the map) were to judge.

Definitions
I ran a search on the word "ugly" on Google.
And here is what I got
ugly=offensive or unpleasant to any sense

so basically if someone claims they are ugly they are unpleasant.

Then i ran a search on the word unpleasant

unpleasant=not able to give pleasure.
SO bottom line is if you are ugly you cannot give pleasure in any way.

***************************************

Enough of definition ....here me out....

The commercial world has set high expectations for us all. I remember watching this old tamil movie hit(90's) and I was wondering how come the actress was not a size 2 and how was she allowed to act with a super bushy lion's mane??

I mean even english movies. You see that things were not that glammed up.

I went to find this picture of Aishwarya Rai(very pretty so it seems)
When she was younger, she was nothing so great.
I think I see Kripalini much more prettier than her.

And then she just got married to Abhishek Bachchan

Ppl say "Look at her so pretty, he like what only"

I mean probably they have a point that someone perfect like her should have gone for someone more perfect. But come of it la. Look at Abhishek. Put him next to Sanjay Dutt. He wins right.

And then some ppl would have something to say after looking at this picture

"Why her nose flared up. OMG so ugly"

Come of it. Ugly?

Refer back to my definitions. VERY UNPLEASANT?

I dunno if you know but the olympic opening ceremony. Remember the child who sang? In reality it wasn't her voice that we were hearing. It was another girl but she was not allowed to sing on stage because she was rather plum and her teeth were not straight.
Yea I know how you feel.

The world today lives in vanity. Who decides on ugliness and beauty and perfection. We can strive for the better but in reality who decides? The norm? The media? Or the level set by stars?

Its like a elephant comparing itself to a peacock.

In my opinion both has its individual beauty. Colours, might, uniqueness, individuality.

Who sets the barrier for right and wrong? Pretty and ugly?

In my opinion our own minds. The media influences and we change and adapt.

As humans it our nature to keep in contact with our surroundings.

But really the real truth is you are what you ~~eat~~ think.

I dunno if you get my point but someone triggered this whole train of thoughts.Thanks JA

Who sets the mark?

WE

OURSELVES

AND

US.

We can feel like a rockstar who looks superbly awesome

an emo who looks cool

a lala queen

a swimmer

an innocent kid.

the beauty

or maybe the beast???

But please remember you are who you are and never let ppl set judgements

as i said. who are we to decide? Just leave it be.

I feel terribly lovesick....Blah!!!
S.O.S

Kayshini Gandhi

and is she better now???/

2008-08-19T14:29:00.008+07:00

And so if you thought that Kaysh has finally got a grip of her words and emotions, guess what??

You're not absolutely right.

Its not that I have nothing to say. I have a lot a lot a lot of things to say but its just that I'm choosing not to.

But you know what, forget it.

My weekend was awesome. Not because I went to Ministry of sound and clubbed my night away and met a super cute caucasian and ahem ahem all...

None of that.

Simple stuff happened.

1.I had to go to the stinking Larkin market.
2.Then I went to Dunkin's.
3.Then we all left for Singapore.
4.I cooked my family (including uncle and all) dinner
5.The next day we went to Sentosa (after 5 years again) about mid day.
6.And I manged to avoid severe sunburns.
7.And for the record FLORENCE, there were Ang-moh guys which I'm sure you would have considered.
8.I was partying at this cafe there which was super cool.
9.I was left with my annoying brother only since my uncle has no kids of his own.
10.I went luge.
11.Went oscar oscar.
12.Managed my brains well enough.
13.Had super nice dinner.
14.Left for JB.
15.Rebonded my fringe~HELL YEA!!!
16.Went Vivo's with mum and dad.
17.Slept when I wanted to.
18.And kept really calm

Now thats simple genuine reasons to smile...

straightened hair~FRINGE...LOL

This is going to sound pathetic but this whole week I have been missing my JB YATRA 2006 gang like loads.

we were young.

Trouble free.

and most importantly,

effortlessly happy.

YATRA 2006~JB

You might know it comprised of Sai Vidya Vimal, Suearna Thayala, Gayatri Kathiresan, Uganeswara Rau, Thineswara Rau, Thisenwara Rau , Naresh Krishnan and I.

Well commonly we are known as Vidya or viddi, suearna or soka, gaya3 or gaka, Rau, thines, thisen or thosai, naresh bhaiya and kaysh or kayshini.

When we started out in early 2006, I would have to agree that we were like poles of the earth, each and everyone so distinctly different from each other. Nothing special, No bond. Just nothing. Put us to work together and we dread.

And then we all went to Parthi and there we all were in our own groups . with ppl who were more like us from other states.

And we got back sooner or later to Malaysia and I guess we all really realised that all we had was each other and we may be very different but put together we could achive something.

Vidya used to have this thing for the yatra gang which I never really had till today I must say. Where I realise, these ppl. I could fall back on them any moment.
And I took each one of them for garnted and we have a few months united as a family in JB. And I guess its better late than never. I love you ppl. And we will rock on.

And today I can say that each one of them has thought me a lesson on their own.

Gayathri

If you were to ask me of one living example of a person with total focus, it would have to be this girl. She is so focus, so different that ppl fail to understand her. Even myself. We have had our fights and all but I know she is one person I can run to anytime and cry on her shoulder and she is going to be a real good emotional booster.

Thisen

This is another person of pure pure thoughts. He is so so responsibel. I am just beyongd words of for ths guy. A true child you know. Pure at heart. And s freaking good dancer.

Thines

I call him chetan. He talks to me alot. some ppl say the most. But i dun mind you know. Most of the time to communicate with him, its through silence. His silence tells a lot of untold tales. I sometimes have a lot of empathy for him. Just full of it. But the best part is we both finish school next year.

Naresh

Now this fella here is considered part of my family. He is usually at my place with my family. We travelled to India twice and he tells me a lot. He looks up to me that I know always asking for my opinion and all that. And I can share a lot with him. Just a lot. Gets on my nerves to often for all the wrong reasons. Buddy in other words.

Rau

Now Rau. Its might be long. I have to admit I used to hate Rau a lot for his arrogance and over self confidence. But in the recent years, I see a lot of bravery. Being the eldest in his family. I always thought he never saw the responsibility he holds. But in true fact he does. And so much peserverance I wish I had. I mean he can be terribly battered and so on but when you see him he is like Mr. Macho guy.
He has talent which he keeps denying because of what others say. But it doesn't matter Rau, You have so much they don't have.

tHE Last TWO dEvils!!!!

Vidya

I call her Vidz. Where do I start??? I just dunno.... All i know vidya is that i dunno how spicy life could be without you....u are my pepper and salt and evrything.....

Suearna

If vidya was salt and pepper then this babe is curry powder. I love you suearna....u say it so often to me that i dun care bout it no more....but i realli love you too

to salt and pepper and my curry powder.....we'll just rock the house in any case...
U guyz finishing skool this year and i'm going to miss u loads when u all go to further ur studies.

I think i'm mad plus bored. But hey ,those thought were genuine.

time is just a terrible source for for solace,
but memories are the best source for recovery.

And this memory brings me on.

Kayshini Gandhi

216 hours

2008-08-15T14:43:00.003+07:00

School today was numb. I didn't realise the presence of so many things and event. I am just becoming so blur the past few weeks that I don't notice my surroundings. I am pretty much into my own dazzly world where I dunno what illusions take place.

And after school today we had an Interact meeting and I was to have my lunch at school as mum didn't prepare me lunch. My plan was to go buy something back home to eat and then I met Joey and Kareema and I decided to join them and have a share in politic talks and then I left for home.

And if you didn't know, we are having a one week term break.
And I have 216 hours to spend and I just have no idea how.

Usually my holidays are spent with my 'friends' and family but this time I doubt its going to be that way.

1)Mum and Dad are too busy to drive us to Singapore
2)Ilham won't be here all week
3)Sheetal won't be here too.
4)Tnesh will be in KL...Ash-ing
5)Vidya probably doesn't have holidays and most probably would be studying even if she did
6)Suearna is just better save her ass and not have plans with me as I am number one hated on her side.
7)Puvarnish is just going to bug me for more playstation and I just don't want to.
8) I have Interact Duty all week
9)Homeworks have piled

I feel so nostalgic just thinking of a week of boredom up ahead.
I just have to hit the books then I guess.

Not like its any harm or tragedy but its just not encouraging and I don't fancy having slow days.

Its going to be a long week and for once I am praying that time will speed up to divert my mind.

Its all I need.

I guess you'll be seeing more of me. More boring moments.

216 hours ahead and I am clueless.

Here we go

2008-08-14T16:18:00.002+07:00

So is you've been keeping track of my blog, you would notice that a constructive post hasn't come from me for a while now. Whatever the reason is. And for those expecting a spicy sour one of emoness, too bad k...Not coming.

Hahahahahaha.

Its so freaking funny the past one week. You may say I got over the top and made it up. Yea whatever. I know what happened okay. Not that blur yet and I also know what has happened on the other side.

And when I heard bout I was almost in the state of jaws drop. Like thats the lamest thing or reason a person could give me and I was uneasy but no spill of tears.

But I somehow needed to like talk to someone bout it.

So I went to school. I woke up earlier than usual and all cause I felt juz so weird. Dumbstruck.
And I went to school. and chemistry i miss by 2 marks to an A2...well i was ok pretty much satisfied seeing the rest of the class.

By the end of chemistry i needed a place to rest my head.
So Esther, Cai Ling and myself went to the sickbay and I slept till bout recess and I woke up still all one kind and went down for a snack.

And after that I had english. I got a freakin 73 which is like the first time I got below 80. I was furious.

The teacher mark so strict.

EXAMPLE:

On the skima jawapan: The box had 12 pencils.
My answer : The box had a dozen of pencils.

And the teacher marks me wrong.

Anyway, I kept cool and calm. I know how to solve it.

And then we had our patriotic song practise which just made my day.
It was so hilarious. Just so hilarious. Will blog bout it when we perform then.

And then came back home and just contemplating on everything.
I mean I wouldn't call it an accident.
One week isn't an accident you know.

But nevertheless.
It makes my job easier.

Life goes on.
Not a tear drop.
I am surprised.

Don't take it too harshly on yourself.

As for me I have the holidays to think about.
And as I was talking to Cai Ling today.

In life, crap happens.
But ultimately its how you handle it that matters.
You could either cry with it sinking you or it could either make you a real big hero.

This is just the way its going to be.
I am me and I've decided to stick to my decisions.

And this incident has taught me that in any situation,

STICK TO MYSELF.

Hell yea I'm confusing.
But thats the way it is.
Take it or leave it.

CHEERS.

Kayshini Gandhi

miss stay away

2008-08-13T15:27:00.006+07:00

If you were to ever see this girl.

Or this girl....

Or maybe even worse...this two together

There just one thing I can tell you....

"If you wanna live, RUN for ur lives"

Hahahahah....
We'll not an entirely true statement but true enough

Sheetal Kaur Bhart...

She was actually studying in the same school as I was since 2000 but I only came about her in 2002 or 2003.
She didn't really think highly of me and she thought I was a weirdo....
Maklumlah I freaking famous that time and just so you know. Jealous of me then say I'm a weirdo.

Anyway coming back to the story.
I kenalan with her that time but I too busy to layan her already la.
Then I went to secondary school.
And in 2006, in 2A2 a.k.a 2B...

I couldn't see something from where I was sitting and so I went over to another vacant seat(next to sheetal) and was copying and I decided to strike up a conversation(moment of doom-jkin).
And I pretty much found this super angry looking girl some what interesting.

Don't ask me the details of it. I can't remember but then I got to know Avi and all...
I would say that Sheetal pretty much know quite a bit bout me. More than enough to blackmail me.

But anyway, this is how Sheetal was when I met her

Ya I know like some ah-long company picture...look at them la...so young

And she was super freaking scary last time... I used to be a bit freaked out with her angry times in form 2...Like really...sometimes its like is she even human to look like dat...furious eyed

Zaman Jahiliah

But over the years, I saw much more than that anger and goth-ness

A very shy lady

a very act-modest person but in reality not really~jkin

a person you could talk anytime to

a person who does a lot of naughty things-ahem!!!

a blur head-top row, second from left

a person who doesn't mind my messy room nor my addiction for CLEO

You know after putting all this pictures and saying all this things, I'm probably going to get a hard smack tomorrow at school. But nevertheless without the 13th of August, I would have never found this thing I have with Sheetal.-dun think too far

friends? kakis? machi's? collegues? buddies?

I dunno you choose.

Cause to me it doesn't matter.
What you call it.
To me its a special person in my heart.

Love ya Sheetal.

And Happy Sweet 16th.

The crap we planned for is finally here.

B-O-R-E-D spells BORED

2008-08-12T14:15:00.002+07:00

Name: Kayshini
Sisters: 0
Brothers: 1 human and 1 dog
Shoe size: 8
Height: 173cm
Where do you live: JB
Favourite drinks: vanilla coke and cincau and tea and coffee
Favourite breakfast: toast
Have you ever been on a plane?: yeapz
Swam in the ocean: oceon...neah...only seas
Fallen asleep at school:who hasn't???
Broken someone's heart: doubt it
Fell off your chair: yeap...lol
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: stupidly yes
Saved e-mails: yeap
What is your room like: MESSY
What's right beside you: books.
What is the last thing you ate: fish fingers and bread
Ever had chicken pox: no.....dun wan get
Sore throat: ya...too often at the wrong times
Stitches: yea
Broken nose: nope
Do you believe in love at first sight: definately not
Like picnics: okla....
Who was were the last person people you danced with: ummmm....vidya and all??
Last made you smile: myself xD
You last yelled at:MYSELF AGAIN
*
Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: yea....i like so many ppl
Kissed anyone: yea
Get sick: ???
Talk to an ex: nope
Miss someone: not realli...not yet
Eat: yea
Best feeling in the world: victory
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: it triggers my sinus
What's under your bed: another bed
Who do you really hate:you
What time is it now?: 1521
*
Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: nope
Do you want children: yeap
Do you smile often: er.....there are days where i do
Do you like your hand-writing: not realli
Are your toe nails painted: yea
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: puvans is very empuk
What color shirt are you wearing now: white
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: dinner
I can't wait till: nothing
When did you cry last: xD
Are you a friendly person: usually
Do you have any pets: yea
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: M'sia
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: err...who is the last?
Do you sleep with the TV on?: nope
What are you doing right now?: this
.Have you ever crawled through a window?: yea
Can you handle the truth?: yeap
Are you too forgiving?: sometimes very
Are you closer to your mother or father?: in different aspects..both
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: me
How many people can you say you've really loved?: so many
Do you eat healthy?: i guess
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: never take pic how to keep
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: YES
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: noone..suearna??
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Loud on my happy days
Are you confident?: yeap
*
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. celebrating my 6th birthday..
2. kindergarden
3. running wid tashka
4. last year wid grandpa
5. christmas

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. homeworks
2. interact stuff
3. bhajan
4. sleep
5.study

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. crackers
2. cheeeese
3. apples
4.rocky
5. bread

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. dunno...
2. dunno...
3. dunno...
4. dunno...
5. dunno...

5 of my bad habits:
1. being indecisive
2. lazing
3. worry
4. hypertense
5. cry

5 people I tag:
1. sheetal
2. tnesh
3. vidya
4. vina
5. sonel

Laugh my ass

2008-08-06T15:43:00.004+07:00

So if you were in school and you saw me grinning and laughing crazy.

You will probably know why.

If you don't.

I'll do the honours....

I was listening to Muttons at midnight yesterday on 98.7fm

And on their tickle my mutton section.

This was their joke.

Once there was this guy who went to a fastfood restaurant and ordered a hamburger. Upon his order, the waitress brings the burger and he finds a strand of hair in it.
He gets all furious and demands to meet the cook immediately.
The waitress leads the way.
To his horror, he sees the cook flattening the hamburgers under his armpit (explains the hair)

He gets even more hysterical at the sight and shouts hysterically.
Just then, the waitress turns and says,
"If you found that disgusting, you should seriously see the way he makes doughnuts"

Got it???

Hahahahah....

Check out some pictures i bumped into today.

Don't blame the gays. NOT THEIR FAULT ACTUALLY.

click on picture for clearer picture

Yea... The schools don't educate, Sonel. But I do. Hahaha

This is for you ~~Joey~~ and the gang.
Dirty minded.
But smart asses.

Laugh with me.
I'm not high.
Not horny.
Just Happy.
Unsually

WHICH ARE U?

2008-08-02T11:28:00.003+07:00

Disagreements...

It happens all the time...

Lets say a group of good ~~friends~~...

And one day crap happens,

And emotions stir.

And X has a thought that comes upon. Y and Z and A and B and the entire alphabet series get affected and hates X for the thought...

X doesn't know is X should care or not care bout it.

But wait someone in the alphabet series called K says it doesn't matter.

But X is not entirely convinced...

Out of all the alphabets. Only K is standing for X.

What does that mean?

K is being nice or utterly can't care.

Or all the other alphabets are not the type of people who cherish relationships beyond disagreements.

Confusing...

X can't make a choice.

Hint me someone.
Anyone.

Sincerely,
X

going with the aliran hidup

2008-08-01T10:34:00.001+07:00

Today I went skool....After so Long... Then suddenly my period pain crap started....Couldn't tahan...So i called my mum the she was like i can't come now...u take a cab....then i told the teacher then Pn. Kamala said better not cuz i looked so freakin pale by then....so she dropped me home...

I was so so touched...

I slept and recovered eventually....

Then I was so fustrated cuz every month cerita sama....

So I went to research cause i cannot remember wad the doctor said...

observe words in green

Out come of research:

Most women who have cramps are experiencing what's known as dysmenorrhea. Most often this condition is classified as primary dysmenorrhea, meaning that it isn't caused by a physical abnormality of the reproductive organs. This type of dysmenorrhea usually takes the form of sharp, spasmodic pains in your lower abdomen at the beginning of your period, or a day or two earlier, and it lasts two to three days. The condition is most common among young women in their teens and twenties; it usually moderates with age and may disappear if you give birth. According to some estimates, as many as 10 percent of young women have such severe cramps of this type that they're unable to maintain their normal schedules one or two days per month. In some women the cramping is so painful that they can't walk, and a few have compared it to the contractions of childbirth.

if you have primary dysmenorrhea, you'll feel either sharp cramps or dull pelvic pain. You may also have backaches, headaches, pain in the inner thighs, or constipation, diarrhea nausea and vomiting, dizziness, bloating, weight gain, and breast tenderness. Many of these symptoms are attributed to PMS (premenstrual syndrome), but stem from the same source as the dysmenorrhea.

Okay...Highlights:

1.It last two to three days....wanna die arr

2.disappear when give birth....dats a long way more till this suffering will end

3.contractions compared to childbirth...so i am not making up the intensity of pain okay

4.when i have these stuff....for me these comes along headaches,diarrhea nausea and vomiting, dizziness.

Pitiful ryte....
And JOEY, FLO AND KIM....

i DIN GO BACK CUZ I WANNA PONTENG...REALLI SAKIT WEI....

and bout the other "issues"....happy one week anni...wad a think to celebrate...

I'LL JUST GO WITH THE FLOW

Kayshie-freakishly high

Some ppl juz nvr get it

2008-07-31T14:20:00.004+07:00

Refer to evy's blog....the tittle of the post is BEWARE.
She is linked up on my "probably more entertaining blogs"

I read Evy's blog somewhere in the morning(didn't go school again)
And I felt to pitiful for her.
And I was thinkin bout it all day and after 6 hours of it torturing me,
I am here again.
Letting go of something which is getting me nowhere but only closer to hell.
The test is coming.
And I am disturbed.
I am going on studying using W tactics but that's not really me.
I need my own ways.
I'll figure that out.

But coming back to the topic.

I am guessing you already know Evy.

General Statement
You see...
We all new the mistakes we all made. The ones Evy made. And we were all unhappy but out of all that I confronted Evy bout it. You see, when you're unhappy bout sumthin right, talkin behind that persons back gets you nowhere. You just agitate yourself more and get more angry and worked up and annoyed and develop more hatred for the person.

In my opinion.
Not satisfied bout somethin?
Thats alright.
But confront the problem.
Too shy to put you honour and glory at stake?
Then I dunno.

But when it comes to the part of involving a third party A.K.A teachers and etc
You wanna tell the TRUTH
You can't just go and confess on someone else's part.
Maybe at this Highschool stage it is all acceptable.

But lets look at it properly okay.
When a criminal is accused rite,
You sit and ask the criminal first to confess.
If the criminal has confessed
Then they match the confessions to the crimes or whatsoever
but you see criminal is given a chance to speak and own up.

Now in the case of wad you ppl had gone and told teacher(not making it an issue)
Just to let how it could have been done in a better way

1. Calling evryone involved
2. Telling the person a.k.a so called criminal to tell teacher the truth
3. Apologize once again about evrything to teacher.

Everyone could be more contented cuz they would have known about wad was going on.

But this only would have happened if you involved everyone ryte.

And you ppl did it for me?
Thanks.
I appreciate.
Really I do find it interesting that you take my words seriously after all that was said and done.

To Everlyn specifically and evryone generally

Now my dear. There is no need to be so heartbroken. I dunno at what magnitude this has hit you but all I can say is evrythin happens for a reason.

Friends

A painful word which I no longer know how to use.
I dunno why.
Someone else causes the damage but I show it on you.
But I guess I've seen to much.

It happens Evy. Most ppl use the word friends cuz i dunno that it was the only suitable word.
It was shorter than aqquaintance and collegues.
I guess dats why.

I do not wish to justify anything here.

But just letting you know that, its a point of realisation which you have come to.
To see that not all of us are as innocent when we were in primary school

Do you remember we were so close in Primary 4 and all???
But we won't call each other Best Friends cause we thought that saying that will make us not last.
Likewise friends.
I guess the same thing applies.
You don't know what it means anymore so You don't wanna use it.
No man is an island.
But life is.
More ppl, more attachments.

Evy we sang in Std 6, as you said

"as we go on we remember all the times we had together, as our lifes change, come whatever,we will still be friends forever"

Look at the meaning. Deeply.

And see how much we are implying any part of it in our lives.

If we truly do change, are we still friends?
Come whatever, whatever happens are we still friends?

What an irony...

And about talking to the dog, I do that too.
I must see simba before anythin *touchwood*
I'll buy him oreo.

Oh ya.
If you want, you can pinjam my dog
He doesn't only blink, he shake his tail also.

Hahahahah....

Take care evryone.

I always love you evy as my ~~friend~~????

I dunno la...

And Tnesh I already am missing you knowing that you are in KL although it wouldn't make a difference if you were in Jb oso.

Think think think

There's so much depth in each word.
So much time spent.
Please just think.

And for my sake.
Please

TAG

silence in life kills....dun kill my blog
Kayshini

Twilight...LOL

2008-07-31T08:39:00.006+07:00

I was randomly on photobucket and suddenly i wanted a picture of twilight(time of the day)

and as I type Twilight and I find this super nice images and qoutes all related to Twilight (currently the book and soon to be movie)

And Knowing how Twilight has swept some ppl of their feet... FEAST YOUR EYES PPL....

The main Cast

To the girls.....This is rather consoling....Lol

To Bella

To edward

To the guys reading...hahahahah

Because I am a

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....

i AM FLYING TO VENUS ALREADY

Isolation may be good for me

2008-07-30T17:00:00.002+07:00

I didn't go school today.
Suppose to study. And it went pretty well till bout late afternoon where i needed a lil diversion.

Apparently at school today ~~Cheng~~ my bio teacher had mentioned bout my physics note book being un-updated. God knows wad happened but its ~~sending the shivers down my spine~~.

What a

slow

slow

slow

slow

slow

slow

DAY......

Today I spoke to W......

W has been someone I knew since primary. W is chinese and a guy.

W and I were talkin bout all the things that happen as we ~~age~~ grow

W is pretty much going through a phase of isolation and he agrees with my thought about the friends thing. His opinion pretty much agreed with me and he was saying that people don't like when you show your true self. Instead of appreciating the truth, ppl prefer the lies.

I couldn't agree more.

But what was really fascinating is how W copes with isolation.
He wakes up at 2 and studies or at lest tries to study.
And then at 6 he leaves for school. And when he comes back. He studies another 4 hours in the afternoon and 2 hours at night.

And the effect???

Straight A's with 1B for mid term.

Well I think my conversation with him was to show me the positive effects of isolation.

L.A.M.E i know....

But think about it...
If I try implying his ways, I could pretty much impress ~~Cheng~~ my bio teacher.

Oh well....

Chances.

It lies right there in my hands.

It is still a slow day.

But I love the fact that isolation could bring me to an awesome place

Circle of trust

2008-07-29T12:52:00.003+07:00

"Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
- Bronwyn Polson-

My previous post caused about much of change.
Well in simple words, some ppl juz couldn't take the magnitude of wad was written there.
Why is that the case? I have no idea...
It was just a general thought wasn't it.
But I don't need to explain myself.

If you found it pedas,
then i think you must have eaten the cili somewhere along the way.

Otherwise you wouldn't have been all effected by it.

Now some ppl tend to read it as I considered their relationship all this a mockery or somethin like that. But if you truly look through it, it has more to it. ~ SEEK PERSONALLY BOUT THIS

A little bumpy day yesterday and then Tnesh says this. I have to acknowledge it.

Simple. If they don't understand you, you don't need them. *skipping some parts*You have come to me for solution. I make you live Thinesh's way. Come what may. My life is more important than I am better.Remember that and you'll realise life isn't bout ppl ditching you. It about you choosing who you want to keep and who you want to throw out.

And so I was thinkin bout that and was making plans of not coming to school but then I decided to.

And school was uniformed. But I sat with Joey and all today. I was ignoring the facts and the events. Just going on and on. I was near to sucess of Day 1.

And then I see 3 faces. They looked familiar. Oh darn!! They are familiar. I wondered wad called for the meeting of these three faces. Apparently they have gone to explain to the teacher. *i think its effect from my talk yesterday*

I was wondering how come I was left out again in the explanation part. And could those explanation heal anything. Why tell me? the 3 faces decided and went and explained and suddenly I come in between...

Hmmm...

And i pulled through with my migraine in school. I could pull through.
Then Joey and all were talking bout going to Sibu island for the holidays and all.
Almost there....

And then I remembered Chemistry got cancelled so I cabuted and on my way of cabuting i see 2 faces.
NVM....
Pull through Kaysh come on.

And then I reached home and had lunch and checked my mail and viewed my few regular blogs.
As I was trying to read one of the blogs, my access was denied. I thought maybe the invitation crap so I tried with the mail and still denied.

Then i realise.

I've been dis-invited.
Probably by now deleted from facebook and msn as well.

If thats how its going to be.

Suddenly this whole thing reminded me bout Meet the Fockers movie.

The circle of trust. I was out of it.

But wasn't it suppose to be. Nobody's in my circle.

Whichever whatever.

Bak kata Tnesh, come wad may.

p/s: was i sucessful I wonder...

~Kayshini Gandhi~

What is this?

2008-07-26T21:03:00.003+07:00

I think it was in 2005 when i decided that if there was anyone I should trust with all my heart. It should be me and only me.

Friends.I've had but whether I still do have I wonder.

Well of course there are people who are really nice and whom I hang out with and so on but I dunno if I would consider that as friends. I am still finding out.

Many people have walked in and out. Some have walked and in and are still staying.
I remember there were times when I thought that particular person understood me so well and that it was really true that there was friendship is.

There were also times I remember where hurdles came and there was a feeling of belonging in a person's heart and so on.

I dunno.There could be something wrong with me.
I remember there was once when someone told me maybe you expect too much.
Maybe I do.

And so I may hang out with you.
SMS you.
Chat with you.
Go to bhajans with you.
Dance with you.
Lepak with you.
Talk to you.
Spend so much time with you.
Complain to you.

But I may not belong with you. I can tell distinction.
I can feel it.
After all those years we may have spent, I may not be your friend.
But I appreciate.
But at the moment, I wouldn't want to think or ponder upon the meaning of friends, betrayal, belonging, trust, truth.

I have not reached and nor will I seek it.
If I would be bestowed with it, then so be it.

You may agree. You may not.
I would love to hear from you.
TAG.

p/s: Not hitting at any individual. Situations stirred some un-euphoric thought in me.

TAKE CARE AND LOVE YA

Now now now

2008-07-25T17:02:00.003+07:00

Blowing your trumpet.Probably one of the last things you should do.

You maybe whoever.Prime Minister, chef, journalist, rubbish picker.Just whoever.

But all glory fades the minute you say I am not like this or I am not like that but everyone my age is like this and that.

Well if its self confidence that you call it then so be it.
I am not going to pass remarks or make judgments.

Its your life.

Now self confidence is indeed an essence in your life.
But over self-confidence....When you reek of it, sheesh..

If you are going to say this is jealousy, then I'm speechless..

And about freedom of speech. In my opinion it is necessary except if you go overboard.
But then again contradictions in opinions.

I mean if you are really doing the right thing and what is wrong in voicing you opinion.
Just because you are president of so and so club doesn't make you the only one who can give ideas and opinions and so on. Everyone has a right and to really keep and transparent system between the people you know.That most important.

No use in a thousand and one people hailing your name in front of you but treating you worst than a rotten apple behind your back. SERIOUSLY NOT WORTH.

Think bout it. Perhaps no super chim words. But really think bout it.

In witness of God watching,
Kaysh

WOA

2008-07-24T16:49:00.001+07:00

FREAKIN COOL VIDEOS....WATCH

trying not be melodramatic....

2008-07-24T14:50:00.015+07:00

So the previous post was rather melodramatic....Sorry bout that....It was just at-that-moment kind off expression....No sweat!!! And if you realize, it was rather platitude...Anyway

As per Sheetal's query....
Why haven't I been blogging??

I have no idea girl....As I said I have been having a lot of at-the-moment expressions...

Now if you don't already know, let me tell you...
Avi and Evy are going to be playing futsal. Yeah....Unlikely I know...

Now the 2nd Formative Test is approaching....
*sigh* I've got to keep to my word.
Not that its difficult but .........

Ok I know blog rather cliche-ly most of the time and i really think I have to stop it.
As in more intellectual and less drama-queen type...

Lets talk bout somethin...
*sumthin tells me i'm going to blog long..we'll see*

Ok...I'm going to get to one of the stuffs been bothering me....

ISOLATION KILLS~that was rather cliche...sorry!!

Anyway as I was saying....
I'm going to get to one of the stuffs been bothering me....
I miss stufff....I know I sound like a ~~despo~~...*sighs*

To cut the long thing short....Here are the things i miss....Feast you eyes...I now some ~~unexpected stuff~~ are in the list but yea....wadeva

FINE....I surrender....I thought i could pull throught this post but i can't....
~~Fuck la~~
Of all those stuff

I MISS YOU SHEETAL

i realli do...we need to talk.....

till then,
Kaysh

Twist Our Fate

2008-07-21T15:49:00.003+07:00

The trickle of the rain becomes louder,
And all expressions evaporate into moments of chaos.
All I want to do
Is to lie motionless on the pavement
Absorbing every sound, every movement, every sight.

But thinking about its possibilities,
I might itself accept defeat,
Cause nothing waits;
Noone does wait,
Life goes on and its either you fit or fall.

And for every change that occurs,
The only witness to it is the sound of my very heartbeat,
The shadow of my own self.
But even then how often does the sun lie behind you for you to even have you own shadow?

My darling,
When we wait and anticipate for something,
even a minute will seem like a year,
But waiting for you for a single second seems like a century to me.

So I'm ending misery here.
Not going to lie motionless,not going to wait for my heart to beat,
Nor am I going to wait for the sun to rise.

Cause think.
How long am I to wait and forgive you to come back?
If you think this is called giving up, I am sorry to disappoint you.

Its just the time for a little twist.
Like how you twisted your ways.
So just shut up,stop and stare.

Cause its my turn now.
My turn to change and twist our fate.

11.50am, 21st July 2008
Physic Lab...LOL

Law Olympiad

2008-07-19T15:11:00.009+07:00

We had HELP university's Law olympiad....

At first when we went(Aisyah, Ilham, Wan Ri, Cheryl and I),

We were all like for fun laughing laughing...

The suddenly we found out first place was RM 1500!!!!

Like WOW!!!! And i was dreaming bout my new Sony Erricson and meeting Daughtry....

But then other than that it was really fun...

We were at one point the detectives and the defence and the judges and evrythin....

And till i was really considering law but you practising these days are so common....

But anyway....

It was fun....like really....

we ended up getting 6th place and the other convent team getting the 1500 bucks but they deserved it.....

Some shots from today,

~wan ri,aisyah,ilham and cheryl

Cheryl really can look good in candid shots....

I really really had so much fun wid them ever since debate......

Till the next time the five us get to hang out,

I'll miss the four of them.....

xoxoxoxoxox,
Kayshini Gandhi

Even if the world's not wid me, i'll smile to my camera

2008-07-18T15:49:00.007+07:00

SO its friday...the festive mood coming about...

ok not festiv but its guru poornima today so there's quite a bit of stuff going on....

Plus tomorow is the law olympiad thing.....seriously have no idea wad to do there....but i'll survive!!!!

And so....i've been keeping the stress away wid the camera buddy...he's juz such a darling who sumtimes gets my attention....

And so the results from this weeks date wid mr.camera*drum rolls*

Fish!!! i'm being lame...

Bribing Puvan

Puvan wanted me to help him out with some stuff....The price he had to pay was to join my date with mr.camera

He was enjoying cuz he turned wanting shot by himself....sheeesh...i made him fall for mr.camera too....

And then i took some time to really be with mr.camera

I was tired and so was mr.camera*sounds wrong*....

So we bid goodbye.....

And then today.......

Mr.camera asked me out again and i said yes!!!!!Here's wad we did.....heheheheh

~acting emo~

~acting weird~

~look deep~

~acting dull~

~mr.camera makes me smile~

~give the "wad u talking bout look"~

~he really makes me smile~

And some edits